


Pierced

by ItFlare



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Aftercare, Anxiety, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Kink Discovery, M/M, Mild Blood, Multi Chapter, Nipple Licking, Nipple Piercings, Nipple Play, Overstimulation, Piercings, Service Kink, Service Top, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, mostly Sams POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-10-18 06:10:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17575343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItFlare/pseuds/ItFlare
Summary: Sam's not sure when he sat down or where the stool came from but he’s suddenly flat on his ass. They are definitely not here for an earring and Sebastian is absolutely getting his nipples pierced.The entire display is enrapturing. It stirs something in Sam. He’s never wanted Seb like this before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sunshowers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341620) by [littlecakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecakes/pseuds/littlecakes). 



It's a warm Saturday evening when Sebastian turns and asks Sam if he could drive him to the city.

 

They’re sitting on Sebastian’s couch, probably a little too close, but they’re comfortable and it's really not so weird to have your best friends hand resting against the back of yours.

 

Right?

 

The blonde turns and looks at his friend, taking in the red rimmed eyes and blown out pupils. Sebastians eyeliner is smudged, having previously run down his cheeks in small rivulets. Sam fights the urge to wipe it away with his thumb. He’s at the point where he might miss and accidentally poke Seb’s eye out before making it to his cheek. 

 

Sebastian bumps Sam's shoulder for what might be the third time. He can’t really tell anymore. Sam’s too busy staring at the inky lines on his face to keep track. 

 

“Sammy!”

 

“Wha?” his entire body jerks. Sebastian is looking at him, head tilted just slightly in confusion. 

 

“Wait.. Were you talking to me?”

 

Sebastian’s eyes roll but instead of his usual put upon sigh he lets out a small laugh.  _ No-  _ he  _ giggles _ . That's how Sam knows Sebby’s bought the good stuff. The relaxed smile on his face is telling. Sometimes Sam feels like he’s starting to see it less and less and it worries him.

 

Sebastian frowns and Sam realises he’s too high to have unhappy thoughts. Apparently he’s at the point where his face shows it all. 

 

“You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to, Sam.” the crestfallen look on his friends face shakes him out of the floaty headspace Sam had been stuck in. The dried tear tracks also help.

 

“I didn’t say that- no” the blonde stumbles over his words “Wait.. What am I doing?”

 

Sebastian takes the blunt being held between Sams loose fingers. Neither notice the ash that falls onto the couch or Sams patched up jeans. But Sam definitely notices the small smile returning. He’d never miss that. He rapidly blinks in an attempt to break the trance he keeps finding himself in. 

 

“Would you drive me to the city? My mom said we can borrow her truck. I just have to tell her what day.”

 

“Oh..” the blonde says a bit too loudly “Yeah sure, Seb… Why not just drive us on your bike though?”

 

A brief silence sits between them and Sebastian looks down at the red fabric sewn onto the knee of Sam’s pants. It’s not odd for Seb to get quiet sometimes, especially when his brains not doing so hot, but it seems like he’d been having a good day. Sam wonders if he shouldn’t have asked. Sebastians normally pale cheeks darken ever so slightly before he looks up at Sam and answers “I gotta go back to the piercing place.” And that's all the answer Sam needs. 

 

“Oh, okay. I’m down for it.” he responds. There's no further questioning after that. It's probably just another earing or that bar thing that goes through the ear lobe, right?

 

\--

 

The following Tuesday, Sam finds himself staring deep into the clouded eyes of a wet snake specimen. It's curled and piled into a glass jar that he’s sure was turned just so the snakes face was looking at the bench. Maybe it's a fear tactic to weed out the weak before they go into the back to get a needle forced through their flesh. When he’d asked Sebastian about it he’d received a look severe enough to have him staring back at the dead snake again, wondering if Seb would preserve him in a jar or just bury him in the ground. Above him hangs a dried bat taxidermy..thing, that's very obviously accumulated over a years worth of dust. Sam wonders if the shop owner was too scared to clean it in fear of a piece falling off. 

 

Sam grimaces, sliding further down on the bench away from it. If any part of it fell onto him he might literally jump out of his skin and give the tattoo shop another dead thing to pin up on their wall. He bumps into Sebastian who immediately elbows him back without batting an eye. He’s currently filling out paperwork, with his ID sitting in his lap. The pen he’s using has a small black widow perched on the back end of it. These guys were really invested in their aesthetic. Very, Sebastian.

 

Eventually, Sebby finishes the required paperwork and hands it to the tattooed receptionist smiling at him from behind the desk. Her cheerfulness seems to rub off on Seb who smiles back at her in a way Sams sure he wouldn’t if they were back home. He seems more comfortable in Zuzu than Pelican Town, especially here in the tattoo shop. Maybe it’s the anonymity awarded from being in such a bustling city, or maybe it’s just because these people kinda fit the look Seb had slowly adapted. 

 

Everyone close to Sebastian knew that he was drawn to the city. He and Sam had spoken about it dozens of times but it was always a passing thing. Sam always told himself that they’d cross that bridge when they got there. He tried not to worry about it and live in the moment but seeing his friend so at ease in the place of his dreams was making it all too real. It seems that it's only a matter of time before the big city steals his best friend away from him. The revelation makes his stomach churn.

 

When Sebastian sits down next to him Sam lightly elbows him in the ribs until he protests and shoves the blond away. Sam smiles at the needed familiarity and teases the shorter male, asking him what's wrong and using as many variations of Sebs name as he can think of until he sees Sebastian biting his cheek to suppress a smile. The rib poking continues and before long Sam feels small tremors vibrating through Sebs side. He stops prodding and falls onto his friend, resting his full weight against the shorter males side. Sam lets out an exaggerated sigh, puffing out his lips and blowing black hair out of his face. The poorly suppressed laughter he’d been aiming to hear finally graces his ears. 

 

The moment is short lived, but it's enough to calm the fear in Sams middle for now. Sebastian’s name is called and he quickly shoves the blonde off of him. The pair are lead down a decorated hallway to a smaller room. The piercing artist is a short tattooed man with plugs the size of Sam's fist. He’s as friendly as the receptionist and claps Sebastian on the back in a way that makes Sam think Seb’s been here far more than the blonde had previously been aware of. He wonders if Sebastian has any piercings Sam doesn’t know about and-  **Yikes** .  _ That _ would hurt like a bitch. He almost cups himself in solidarity.

 

Sebastian pulls his hoodie off from over his head. Sam has to blink a few times to make sure his eyes are working correctly because,  _ wow _ that boy is pale and Sam can’t remember the last time he’d seen Seb in anything less than a t-shirt. Maybe that's why he can’t stop staring. 

 

Sebastian holds the worn hoodie in front of his chest as the piercer sets up. He makes flustered eye contact with Sam and Sam knows he’s supposed to look away but he doesn’t because he’s not sure he can and suddenly the piercer is moving Seb’s hands out of the way to inspect his chest. The guy probably has a name but Sam never heard it. He’s too busy being a fucking lunatic and eyeballing the shit out of his childhood best friend because-  _ wow, what the fuck!  _

 

Maybe Seb doesn’t want blood on his hoodie?

 

.. Or any shirt. Because he’s not wearing one. 

 

Not even a tank top.

 

Seb doesn’t do that.

 

..Maybe it's a city thing?

 

The piercer is still ogling at Seb’s chest  _ much _ harder than Sam is. His face is barely inches away from Sebastian's pecks. He’s  _ really _ fucking checking them out. 

 

Sebastian keeps his eyes on the ceiling. It’s obvious he’s uncomfortable. Seb’s always covered his body to the point of it becoming concerning. When the piercer moves away to put gloves on, Sam so badly wants to drape his jean jacket over his friends shoulders. He wants to shoo the piercer away and take Seb out of the situation completely. 

 

But suddenly the man is back and wiping Seb’s chest with some shiny shit. Sam’s eyebrows rise to his hairline then to the damn ceiling when the man rubs both thumbs over Sebastian’s nipples. A healthy flush appears on Sebastian's face. The same can be seen high on the blondes cheekbones. He would choke on air if he were able to breath.

 

Sebastian winces. The piercer lightly pinches both nipples causing the tan nubs to harden under his fingers. They're given one last pull before the man in front of him grabs a sharpie off the tray next to him.

 

“You're kinda sensitive there.” he muses aloud. Sam swears his soul leaves his body as Sebastian's face flushes further. Two small dots are placed on both sides of Sebastian's nipples in a horizontal line. “This isn’t going to feel good. Sure you want them?”

 

_ Oh. _

 

Sam's not sure when he sat down or where the stool came from but he’s suddenly flat on his ass. They are  _ definitely  _ not here for an earring and Sebastian is  _ absolutely  _ getting his nipples pierced.

 

Both of them.  _ Plural _ .

 

_ Holy. Shit. _

 

The piercer lays the back of the large black chair down, motioning for Seb to climb on. As he does the silver clamps are prepared and Sam is still desperately trying to take a breath.

 

Sebastian lays on his back, now stiff and visibly uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands so they sit on his stomach, fingers slowly drumming against pale skin. 

 

The piercer stands above Seb’s head “Last chance.” he cautions. The clamps in his hand glint warningly in the artificial light. Biting his lip, Sebastian nods. His eyes flit over to Sam then back to the clamps. He lets out a low grunt when the first pair closes around his nipple. The quick intake of breath that follows shakes Sam to his core. He’s not sure why the hell he’s freaking out as hard as he is but hes really fucking glad he chose not to wear skinny jeans today. Sams heart hammers in his chest as he watches. Sebastian is clearly uncomfortable and about to be in  _ a lot _ of pain. It shouldn’t make his blood pump the way it is or excite him in any way. He’s not sure if he feels nauseous or turned on. The poorly concealed whimpers coming from the man laid out on the chair are making Sam sweat. 

 

The piercer moves the tongs around to inspect the flushed nubs on Sebastian's chest. With one last squeeze the piercer picks up the needle. Unsure of what to do, Sam stands but keeps his distance, just in case. 

 

“Deep breathe” the tattooed man instructs, “Try to stay still for me.” he leans forward for a better view then pushes the needle through.

 

The instant the needle touches his flesh, Sebastians entire body tenses up. His head tilts back slightly, back arching off the fake leather chair. Pale skin tightens over barely there muscles. The muscles in his neck tighten, adams apple bobbing as he gasps. The following noise Seb lets out sounds almost like a whimper.

 

The entire display is enrapturing. It stirs something in Sam. He’s never wanted Seb like this before.

 

Sebastian is panting lightly as the piercer prepares for the next one. His eyes are still tightly shut. They open when the second clamp bears down on his non pierced nipple. He looks to Sam, slightly panicked and it really fucking bothers the blond. 

 

_ Fuck, _ Sam wants to hold him.

 

Wordlessly, he steps closer to grab Seb’s hand. Sebastian looks grateful.

 

The next needle breaks skin and Sebastian grunts loudly. His entire body rises off the chair once again, muscles tensing in pain. Sam feels pale fingers tightly squeezing his own but pays them no mind. The two keep constant eye contact until the piercer screws the final ball on.

 

Again, Sam can’t tell if he’s hard or nauseous. If he wasn’t so nauseous he’d be hard as hell but if the traitor between his legs would  _ calm the fuck down  _ he’d be bent over the wastebasket. Both feelings are nothing alike but in this moment he can’t tell between the two.

 

“All done.” The piercer pulls the gloves off his hands with a loud snap. 

 

Sebastian lets out a sigh. He looks down at the small silver bars now forever on his chest. His nipples are swollen, chest a deep red. Sam is absolutely gobsmacked as he eyes Sebs new jewelry until a little peek of red bubbles up then slips down Sebastian's chest before suddenly everything goes dark.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have to clean them and it hurts too bad.. Could you do it?”
> 
> For what must be the thousandth time that day, Sam forgets to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO
> 
> more titty touching and unbetad awkward more than friend realness is on the way.

Sam learns that apparently he’s one of those people who faint at the sight of blood.. Or something like that. Seb’s never gonna let him live it down but he makes sure the tall blonde is back to one hundred percent before they so much as  _ think _ about heading home. 

 

Sam drives, as planned. The ride home is _ mostly _ uneventful. Sebastian holds the front of his hoodie away from his chest, wincing when he stretches the skin too far. It brings up the weird feelings Sam felt at the shop. He’s flustered all over again and can’t get the distracting image of Seb’s pained expression out of his head so instead of crashing Robin’s prized vehicle he does what he does best.

 

“Hey, Seb. What would you do if I gave you a titty twister right now.”

 

It’s quiet for a moment before Sebastian responds by reaching over and jerking the wheel.

 

\--

 

Somehow, they make it back to Pelican town without further incident. Sam had screamed at a pitch far higher than he’d ever admit to but beside that everything had gone smoothly after Sebastian’s warning. 

 

It’s almost midnight when the boys descend the stairs to the basement. Robin would have been at the door to greet them if she were awake. Sam knows she would have asked what they’d been up to and then to see Sebastian’s new piercings if Seb were in the mood to share. He’s not sure how she would have reacted to her sweet baby boys newest additions so he’s suddenly grateful for the late hour. 

 

He also doesn’t want to explain how or why he’d passed out after seeing a tiny bit of blood. Sam still isn’t sure if it was the blood itself or the fact that most of the blood in his brain had migrated further south. Maybe his body had reacted poorly to the sudden adrenaline rush? Seeing Seb in pain shouldn’t have made his blood rush or his heart beat out of his chest the way it did. 

 

But-  _ ugh,  _ the faces he’d made.

 

_ And the fucking sounds! _

 

Sam pinches himself to make his  _ highly inappropriate  _ feelings go away. He’s silently thanks his jeans for being so loose and inconspicuous. Part of him wishes he’d decided to spend the night at home so he could rub one out. Maybe it had been too long? Had to be.

 

The light clicks on. Sebastian walks over to the table on the far side of the room and drops two large shopping bags on top. After deeming Sam able to travel the boys had gone to their favorite greasy pizza joint and then to the corner store. Sebastian had bought supplies for cleaning his new piercings. He could have bought half the stuff at Pierre’s but he didn’t want all of Pelican town asking him why he needed iodized sea salt, water and so many large waterproof bandages. Thinking anyone would figure out what they were for was a bit of a stretch but in a town of less than fifty, gossip and nosy neighbors were plenty.

 

Sebastian rifles through the plastic bags, taking out one of each item and reading over the aftercare instructions the piercer had handed him before they’d left the shop. 

 

“I’ll be back.” he says before leaving the basement.

 

Sam’s grateful for a minute alone as he desperately tries to take his mind off of the way Sebastian had bitten his lip the moment pressure had been applied to his nipple. Sebby was going to his bathroom to clean his piercings. He’d probably peel off the bandages slowly, wincing as the adhesive pulled on his skin. Then he’d look at himself in the mirror, twisting his body to see the silver bars from different angles. They’d shine and shimmer in the unforgiving lighting of Seb’s small bathroom. Cleaning them would definitely hurt. The small twinges of pain would have Sebastian making all kinds of crude faces. 

 

Fuck, Sam was glad Seb wasn’t in the room. His boner was back with vengeance. He’s not sure what he would have done if the shorter male had decided to clean the piercings in his bedroom. 

 

“Hey, Sam.” 

 

Sam squeaks. When he turns toward the door, Sebastian is there. He’s holding his black hoodie away from his chest and his cheeks are flushing deeper by the second. He tilts his head, making his bangs fall forward to hide his face. Sam’s seen him do this before, whenever he gets shy or overwhelmed. He knew all of Sebastian's anxious habits so it comes as no surprise when Sebastian asks “Can.. Can you help me?”

 

“...Help you?”

 

Sebastian keeps his head tilted downward, looking up just enough so that Sam could see the red glow of his cheeks. His hands twisted around the worn fabric of his favorite hoodie. 

 

“Y-yeah… It hurts.”

 

“...Hurts?”

 

Sebastian looks away again “My.. My um..”

 

It finally clicks. “Oh! .. Your ..”

 

“..Yeah..”

 

The stretch of silence grows awkward. Sam suddenly doesn’t remember how to move his feet and Sebastian looks like he wants to phase into the wall. 

 

“I have to clean them and it hurts too bad.. Could you do it?”

 

For what must be the thousandth time that day, Sam forgets to breathe. 

 

“I do it?”

 

Sebastian nods.

 

“Oh, me- ME! I do it. Could I- Could  _ I  _ help  _ you _ clean your- Yeah, yeah. Sure. L-lets. Yeah, I got this.”

 

He very much doesn’t  _ got this. _

 

Sam still doesn’t move until Sebastian shrinks away from the door frame. Sam stumbles over his own feet and almost falls flat on his face when he realises that he needs to actually  _ move _ before Seb’s face combusts or he works himself into a self depreciative fit alone in the bathroom. 

 

When Sam gets to the bathroom Sebastian already has two shallow bowls sitting on the edge of the sink filled with what must be the saltwater wash. There's barely enough room for two adults in the small space so Sebastian has to sit on the back of the toilet. He looks so small, curled in on himself without his hoodie. His discomfort is palpable. It rips Sam out of his own, rousing his over protective tendencies.

 

“You okay, Sebby?” 

 

A shrug.

 

Sam leans in a bit, crouching down until he’s in Sebastian’s line of sight “What's wrong, dude?”

 

Sebastian looks the other way, moving to ball his hands up in his hoodie before realising his mistake. “I’m just…” he pauses looking down to the floor then at Sam before looking away again “Not used to people seeing.. All this.” he motions to his body then to his chest “..Or these.”

 

Shit, Sam wasn’t either. 

 

“I can be naked too, if that would make you feel better.” the blonde jokes.

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes letting out a small chuff of laughter “I’m not naked… Besides everyone in towns probably seen your naked ass.”

 

He’s not wrong. Sam had a habit of undressing when he had a few too many drinks in him. Mayor Lewis could attest to that. He’d been given countless hours of community service for streaking. Maybe it was a good thing Sebastian wasn’t a big fan of nudity or he probably would have been stuck raking leaves and repainting fences with him. The thought brings him back to their current situation.

 

“These aren’t going to bleed a whole bunch are they?” 

 

Sebastian shrugs “Probably not. I already took the bandage off and I think they’re all scabbed over.”

 

Sam looks visibly relieved.

 

“They still could though. It's normal for some bleeding during the first two days.” Sebastian laughs at the visible line of tension in the blondes shoulders “You gonna take another nap if they do?”

 

“I did not  _ take a nap _ !” Sam responds trying his best to mimic Sebastian's familiar teasing. 

 

Seb rolls his eyes trying to staunch his warm feelings with sarcasm. Sebby always tried to hide his careful little smiles behind smirks and sighs. His casually unbothered attitude was only so sincere. Sam was used to this. What he wasn’t used to was the sudden look of concern on Sebastian's face.

 

“You sure you’re okay with this?” 

 

_ Oh. _

 

Yeah. Shit.

 

Sam forgot.

 

“Oh.. Yeah.” He looks down at Sebastian’s chest for an inappropriately long amount of time before becoming aware of himself and physically flinching at his own stupidity “Definitely! Yeah!” a pause “Uh.. well.” he swallows “..What am I doing.. Exactly?”

 

It’s weird again. The heat takes over Seb’s cheeks, his more timid posture returning. Back slightly curved, shoulders forward.

 

“I have to turn.. the bars.” Seb’s voice tapers out at the end. His face and neck are both steadily growing redder by the second, the flush reaching all the way down to his chest “But it.. It hurts.. I don’t think I can do it.”

 

Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. He tries keeping a neutral expression but he’s pretty sure he just looks like he’s dropping a big one while standing. In front of Sebastian, no less.

 

“ _ Oh _ .”

 

Probably sounds like it to. 

 

“So just.. Turn them?” Sam mimics the motion. Sebastian nods, his dark fringe falling into his face once again as Sam audibly swallows. 

 

Pale fingers begin fumbling together as if looking for something to distract themselves with. Seb is tense again, the blonde can tell. Sam swears he can hear his friends thoughts run a mile a minute. He’s  _ incredibly _ glad Sebastian can’t hear his.

 

“You don't have to-” Sebastian starts.

 

“But I want to!” 

 

The instant response leaves both men silent. Sam wishes he could sink into the floor as grey eyes meet his own. He can’t believe that just came out of him. Both boys blush furiously together. Part of Sam wishes he could take it back or tell Sebby that he was just kidding, even though he’d be lying. But he doesn’t. Instead he lifts his hands towards the new piercings. When Sebastian realises what's happening he sits up straighter as if presenting his chest to the blonde. 

 

Sebastian’s nipples are swollen and wet. The skin is peaked, shining red from Seb’s heavy flush and the abuse it had suffered earlier in the day. Sam loves how puffy they are. There's something about the situation that grabs his attention, dimming the world around them. All his concentration is on this task.

 

Sebastian's fingers tighten their grip on the toilet lid when he feels Sam’s fingertip lightly touch the first bar. Sam looks up as if asking for permission to continue. Seb nods, gasping when Sam twists it. The wound is still fresh, barely even scabbed over. It hurts so fucking bad but knowing Sam is the one doing it makes it livable. Sam tries to be as gentle as possible but he can’t stop his hands from shaking. He accidentally pulls on a bar the slightest bit and Sebastian moves forward giving Sam a look that both breaks his heart and simultaneously make it almost beat out of his chest. Sebastian’s head tilts downward, lower lip crushed by his top row of teeth. His eyes press shut as he lets out the smallest hint of a whimper. It’s fucking beautiful and everything Sam never knew he wanted. He wishes he could take a picture or bottle up the sound. 

 

He moves to the next one, gingerly holding it between his thumb and pointer fingers. He’s barely touched it but Sebastian is already crushing him between his legs. Sam almost moves his hand away but trashes the thought, fearing that Sebastian would stop.  _ Fuck  _ his pants feel tight. He twists his fingers further and Sebastian whines, face turning to the side quickly to cut off the sound. 

 

When he’s finished, Sam lightly touches the skin of Seb’s chest in apology. The flesh is dotted with goosebumps, tempting the blond to continue his ministrations. Instead, he pulls back but stays kneeling on the toilet seat lid. He notices the fresh bandages on the sink and reaches for them.

 

“These too?”

 

Sebastian cracks open a grey eye long enough to see and quickly nods. Sam is as gentle as before, peeling the backs off the large bandages and tenderly pressing them to his best friends skin. After finishing he slowly runs his finger over the plasters edge and steps back. 

 

Silence fills the small bathroom. Sebastian slowly looks up after staring at the white bandages on his chest. His eyes are wide, brow creased with an indecipherable feeling as a timid hand raises toward his chest. It stops before making contact with the bandage. Sam swears he can see it shaking. 

 

“...Thanks.” 

 

Sam gives a jerky nod.

 

He wants wants to say something. He’s not sure what but he feels like he needs to as Sebastian stares back looking just as lost.

 

“I.. uh, you're welcome.”

 

_ Smooth. _

 

It's Sebastian's turn to nod. 

 

“I’ll be out in a few minutes.” he speaks lowly as if trying not to shake the blondes already crumbling facade of calmness.

 

Sam hesitates but leaves, regardless of his shaky knees. He holds his breath until he reaches the threshold of the basement. When he finally lets it out it feels like he exhales the last of his  composure.

 

“Oh, fuck..” he whispers to the room. “Fuckfuckfuck.”

 

The hanging bulb in the middle of the room mockingly sways. He wants to rip it down and throw it out the non existent window Seb had been asking for, for years. Instead, he falls onto the couch, sighing as he slides all the way down to his back. 

 

It’s weird. This was all really fucking weird and things had never been weird between him and Seb. They were never awkward or..  _ Charged _ . Whatever that meant. They were just good and comfortable and nice. There was no _ wanting  _ or freaky tension between them that made Sam want to hold the other in his lap or run away from Seb out of fear of all these big feelings bumbling around in his chest. He was suddenly scared of messing things up. Whatever  _ things _ were.

 

This was  _ really _ new. Unbearably even.

 

They’d never had a problem touching before. Well not  _ friend _ touching. Which in their case could be seen as  _ very good friend _ touching or even  _ best friend _ touching (because they were in fact the best of best friends) maybe even more than that, whatever more than that was. Bros would be a good word for it if Sebastian would stop rolling his eyes and telling Sam not to call him that. 

 

Nonetheless, they were on that level.

 

And it was fine.

 

_ Normal. _

 

Maybe slightly above average.

 

Which Sebastian most definitely was. Very, very much  _ is. _

 

But that still didn’t explain what all this newness was.. Or the wet spot in the front of his boxers.

 

Sam puts his hands over his face, scrubbing them up and down while groaning in defeat.  _ Shit _ this was bad. Even after all that internal shitstorming his dick was still at half mast. He  _ really _ wants to just rub one out after Sebastian falls asleep but he’s just not that kinda guy. That and Seb almost never fell asleep first. 

 

Sam lets out another unrestrained sigh and throws his arm over his eyes. He sits like that until he sees white stars forming behind his eyelids and Sebastian slowly descends the creaky basement steps. He’s barefoot now, dressed in a black v-neck t-shirt and heavy sleeping pants. There's little frogs on them and Sam thinks it's the cutest thing. The remnants of dark eye makeup had been scrubbed from his face as well. He looks flushed and tired, cheeks probably still red from scrubbing. 

 

Sebastian looks down at the odd way Sams sprawled halfway off the couch and gives him a questioning look. The blondes long legs are stretched out in front of him and the only part of his body actually resting on the couch is his back and shoulders. 

 

“Comfy?” he asks. 

 

Sam stares back and wordlessly pushes himself back into a regular sitting position, never breaking eye contact “Totally.”

 

Seb rolls his eyes, the little smirk on his face breaking into a poorly suppressed grin “Okay.” he laughs. The way Seb is staring at him makes Sam forget about the weirdness from the bathroom. He grins back unabashedly.

 

Sebastian breaks eye contact, probably because he was getting too caught up in good feelings. Sam wishes he wouldn’t do that. A big part of him wants to pin Sebby down and tickle his ribs until Sebastian is squirming and laughing beneath him. Sam wouldn't stop until Seb had escaped whatever dark cloud that always scared him out of letting his happiness show. It usually worked unless Seb was in a dark place. Sadly, it was too late for that and Sebby could get pretty loud once Sam got him really laughing. 

 

They decide to go to bed soon after. Seb throws Sam an extra blanket and within minutes he’s lying comfortably on the couch with his jacket and loose jeans laying in a pile on the floor. He makes sure to keep his crotch covered just in case, now that the safe barrier of his pants had been  removed. Seb stands under the light until the other is situated. As they say their goodnights Sam notices Sebastian gently rubbing at the bandages on his chest. _ Fuck _ . Seb notices and gives him one last coy look before quickly turning out the light.

 

_ Yoba be  _ **_damned_ ** _.  _

 

Sam was not getting any sleep tonight.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s not sure what exactly to type into the search engine, but after putting in a few odd variations of “Why did my friend want needles put through his nips” and “Can aliens make you want bars on your chest?” he settles on a much simpler and hopefully more PG “Why do people pierce their nipples”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sammy uses the Google machine

For the first time in what maybe,  _ possibly  _ forever, Seb is the first to fall asleep… Well the first time in possibly forever that Sebby had fallen asleep first without working himself into a near coma beforehand. Seb wasn’t good at prioritising sleep. Wasn’t very good at falling asleep either.. Or staying asleep. 

 

The room is pitch black and within minutes Sam can hear Sebastian's breathing slow. The sleepy sigh he lets out tells the blonde that the last of his consciousness had faded. Sam lets out a sigh of his own, hoping his mental exhaustion is powerful enough to trick his body into being tired as well. Specifically his dick. 

 

_ Especially _ his dick.

 

Because, damn, it had been  _ a day. _

 

He’d never had to fight off so many unwanted boners before. They just happened  _ so fucking fast. _ One second he was staring into the eyes of some wet freaky dead shit and hoping some other more crusty ugly dead shit wasn’t about to fall on him then suddenly he’s ushered into a back room to watch his best friend get needles pushed through his  _ fucking  _ **_nipples_ ** _. _ Not his ears or his face, two of the most sensitive parts of his body. But why? Yeah, the new hardware looked nice( _ damn, nice _ ) but why didn’t Sebby tell him?

 

Seb was a private person but not with Sam.. At least Sam didn’t think he was. The thought opens a pit of dread in his stomach.

 

Did Seb not feel like he could tell him? 

 

Well it's not like he lied about it. But he still kinda kept it from him. But wasn’t that lying by omission? Did that count in this instance? Sams sure his mom would say it did.. But Jodi would say just about anything to get Sam to fess up to whatever legal or not so legal bullshit he and Sebby would get up to.

 

But he  _ did _ ask Sam to drive him. And if he really didn’t want Sam to know about the piercings he could have just gone into the back and gotten them done by himself and Sam would have never known what had gone on back there. Probably would have assumed that Sebby was getting a bar through his di-

 

_ Yoba. _

 

**_No._ **

 

He stops that thought right there.  _ Hard no. _

  
  


In the end Sam concludes that if Sebastian had truly wanted to keep it a secret he wouldn’t have asked Sam to go with him. And he wouldn’t have held Sam's hand like he did.. Or ask him to help move the bars.

 

His cheeks flush at the memory.  _ Shit. _

 

With all his questions answered and his dick very much alive and well, Sam widens his legs a bit and pulls the fuzzy black( _ of course, very Sebby _ ) blanket up to his shoulders. He’s comfortable again and more than halfway asleep when he’s suddenly ripped out of his peaceful bubble. His eyes snap open so quickly he fears he’ll find bruises on his eyebrows come sun up.

 

_ Why his nipples? _

 

Instead of laying there and waiting for the thought to pass Sam does what any young person his age would do and flips over quick enough to almost fall off the couch to grab his phone.

 

He’s not sure what exactly to type into the search engine, but after putting in a few odd variations of “ _ Why did my friend want needles put through his nips”  _ and  _ “Can aliens make you want bars on your chest?”  _ he settles on a much simpler and hopefully more PG  _ “Why do people pierce their nipples”.  _

 

Staying  _ very _ far away from the image search, Sam presses his thumb down on the first article he sees. A picture of a cute girl covered in tattoos and multiple piercings quickly loads in. She’s posing, looking down with sultry dark rimmed eyes, presenting her chest to the camera and wearing nothing but a thin tube top that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.. Especially not the very present outline of the bars peeking through her erect nipples. 

 

_ Fuck _ , Sebby would look so damn good in a black lightweight hoodie. But the fabric had to be thin. The thinner the better. He might even get him a girls one to accentuate Sebs pretty little hips. He’d never know.

 

Sam suddenly knows what he’s getting Seb for Winter Star.

 

_ But what about a mesh top? _

 

He has to stop and take ten before continuing on. He presses the heel of his hand down against his aching erection until the pain makes it go down enough to tuck it back into his boxers. He’d never live it down if Seb found any precum stains on his favorite blanket. 

 

Yoba, he’d never had anyone give him blue balls this bad ever in his life.

 

After counting backwards from twenty multiple time  _ and _ imagining his poor sweet grandma naked, Sam goes back to the article on his phone. He quickly scrolls by the picture of the cute girl, trying to give his dick a rest. She was nice,  _ really _ nice, but Sam preferred more flat chested women.

 

Maybe she was more Seb’s type?

 

...He doesn’t want to think about it.

 

The article is titled “ _ All you Need to Know About Nipple Piercings _ ” Sam skips the first three paragraphs because the first few paragraphs of any article are always boring and a big waste of time and, yeah he knows nipples piercings are sexy. He  _ really _ fucking does. He doesn’t need to read a whole paragraph on it. It might give his dick ideas. It’s already had far too many. 

 

He pays extra attention to the part about aftercare. Seb probably knows all this stuff but he also falls into these weird pits of despair where he just stops taking care of himself and if that happens anytime soon the piercings could get infected and he could lose his fucking nipples. Holy shit. Sam grimaces at the thought and saves the article to his phone just in case it becomes his job to clean them everyday. 

 

He doesn’t mind- Well he  _ wouldn’t _ . That is, if Seb asked. Or even if he didn’t.. Which Sam kinda hopes he does.

 

It's the bro thing to do. 

 

He gets to the part about the pros and cons of having the piercings. It’s quite a list. Seb’s gonna have to be careful for a few months because if anything so much as taps his chest he’s gonna feel the shit out of it and not in a good way. 

 

Sam has to repeat that last part to himself a few times.

 

Seb can’t sit in a bathtub or swim, which is fine because for some reason Sebbys refused to go swimming for the past few years, even though he’s always loved the water. He’s gotta be careful when dogs jump on him because,  _ wow ouch,  _ and full frontal hugs are gonna have to be  _ chill _ frontal hugs for a bit. 

 

The last part makes Sam a little sad, but it makes sense. Side hugs could be good to.

 

Breastfeeding might get a little weird, not that Seb had plans for that, and getting loofahs and towels stuck on the bars would introduce him to a whole new level of pain. Holy shit.

 

None of this sounded very fun.. Or livable. Yeah, they looked cool but it wasn’t like Sebastian was going to show anyone. Sam was probably the only person, besides Seb and the piercer, who had any idea they were there. Maybe Sebastian wanted his own little secret? This could be some kinda weird Seb style self confidence thing; because Sebby  _ lived _ for the aesthetic(at least when it came to his minimal color palette)... And because the list of pros said that was definitely a thing. Apparently mutilating your body makes you feel good and having silver little bars as trophies on your chest makes you feel even better. Huh.

 

_ Speaking of feeling.. _

 

The next bullet point makes Sam’s entire brain short circuit.

 

_ “Nipple piercings can greatly increase sensitivity.” _

 

And  _ wow. _

 

_ Wowowowow. _

 

Holy.  _ Fucking _ .  **_Shit_ ** .

 

Sams phone slips from his fingers, landing close enough to his junk he should have instinctually flinched. Instead he sits silently with his hand still up in the air, mind full of TV static as his brain tries to reboot. His dick gives an extremely lively twitch and he can tell the head is wet as fuck. It's absolutely drooling. He wants to touch himself, knows he could. If he did it quietly Sebby would never know and he could just leave the mess in his boxers like a fucking teenager.  _ Shit, _ look what Sebby did to him. He could jerk himself off with one hand and hold the blanket up to his nose with the other because  _ fuck  _ it smelled like Seb and he felt like his insides were on  _ fire _ . Damnit, he wanted him so fucking bad.

 

Instead he spreads his legs as much as possible and takes a deep breath before pushing the heel of his hand down against himself. He has to stop himself from bucking his hips into his hand because he’s fucking throbbing; it hurts so bad and feels kinda good, but he just couldn’t do that in the same room with Seb, even though it sounds really fucking hot right now. But not like this. It would probably be the most mind numbing orgasm of his life but he’d feel like shit about it later. He was an awful liar and wore any trace of guilt on his sleeve. Yoba, what if Sebastian woke up?

 

He’d never live it down. Couldn’t live with the thought of distance and avoiding eye contact with his best friend. Everything would be so awkward and he’d probably get so discombobulated he’d fess up immediately and blurt out why he was choking his shit and what mental imagery gave him the greatest orgasm of his entire life. Sebastian would probably stop talking to him and what if Sebby needed help like he did earlier and he asked someone else to do it?

 

Sam lets out a breath. The thoughts do well to help relieve his aching boner but now that gnawing pit in his stomach from earlier is back. 

 

Sebby  _ can’t  _ ask someone else. He wouldn’t, Sam  _ knows _ that. He’s his best friend. In such a small town where everyone else seemed to have someone he knows Sebby won’t leave him. They need each other.

 

He presses down harder against his junk, pinching the shit out of himself to get rid of the last his boner. Yoba, he was going to die tomorrow. His dick felt weird as fuck from all the unwanted hard ons and lack of action. He’d do just about anything for a hand job right about now, even a dry one. 

 

After a while Sam lets out a heavy sigh, relaxing his legs as he does so. His head drops back against the arm of the couch with a muffled thunk. He feels his phone slip around the soft fabric as he moves and just as he makes a move to grab it, it loudly claters to the ground. Sam freezes. Shit, he didn’t want to wake Seb.

 

He stays in place for what feels like forever before hearing the expected sound of fabric shifting from the bed. It’s pitch black and there's no way Sebastian would ever know he wasn’t asleep. Sam contemplates staying silent until he hears a distressed groan.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS V SHORT AND I AM V SORRY!!! 
> 
> I planned on this being a short sexy time fic, but here we are 3 chapters in and I have no idea whats going on. I promise I'll stop talking about Sam's bad case of blue balls soon lmao. This chapter would have been out sooner but I was playing SDV and I married Sebby and after about a week or so he said he wondered how Sam was doing because they weren't very close anymore AND I GOT IRL SAD. LIKE I WAS DISTRAUGHT. So I had to take a step back because I was getting too deep in the Kool-aid. 
> 
> At risk of sounding thirsty; pls feel free to comment. I read every one a thousand and one times and every time I get one I get too hyped and immediately open this up to work on it some more because WOW IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT THIS TINY STORY ABOUT SEBBYS NIP NOPS MAKES YOU HAPPY TOO!!!  
> !  
> ALSO what do you think the boys voices sound like??? I think about this all the time and I can't decide!!
> 
> Have a FAB day and I hope to see you all soon!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day was already weird. He was tired hungry and frustrated.
> 
> And fuck he’d left his jacket at Seb’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to Sam diarrhea never fails

Sam’s rise from the world of the unconscious is hazy and warm.

 

It's dark and one of his arms is cold. The other one is stretched out beside him, bent upward at the elbow with his hand resting on something soft. He breathes in deeply through his nose, taking in the scent of familiarity and cigarettes. Fogged memories of cold hands and half heartedly concealed laughter echo through his muzzy, sleep deprived brain. He sighs deeply, turning his face toward the warm weight breathing into his shoulder. The weight shifts, turning so that the silky softness falls onto the blondes hand. Sam feels the warm exhale against his shoulder more than he hears it. He reacts by tangling his fingers into dark thick hair.

 

“Morning, Sebby.” he mumbles into the darkness.

 

Sebastians answer is a muffled groan. Sam quietly huffs with laughter and Sebastian drops a closed fist on his chest. It thumps loudly, making a hollow sound that reminds Sam it’s been a hot minute since his last meal, then rests in the middle of his sternum. 

 

“Mmm, stop.” Seb grumbles, almost causing Sam to do the opposite. Instead, Sam lets out a careful breath and flexes his hand in an attempt to get some feeling back into his fingers.

 

“Sleep okay?” he asks, not expecting much of an answer. All he gets is the slightest jerk of what he assumes is Seb’s head on his arm. That was a yes, he thinks. He hopes it was. Sam stays silent after that, knowing full well that Sebby would wake up on his own time or grumble until Sam left him alone. Sleepy Seb was predictable and soft, almost pliable against Sams side. Anxious Seb was always followed up by sleepy Seb after a bad night. 

 

Sam was always grateful for it. He really liked sleepy Seb, but only if it was just sleepy Seb and not angry sleepy Seb.  Sad sleepy Seb wasn’t a great turnout either, but sometimes that lead to a lot of physical contact or Sam sitting with him till he fell asleep and Sam really appreciated those moments. Angry sleepy Seb was an overworked Seb, or sometimes anxious sleepy Seb in disguise. That usually called for Sam to try talking him down or staying out of the way until Sebby had some time to cool off and be by himself. Sometimes that meant coming back another day or waiting long enough for Sebastian to silently smoke a cigarette by the lake. The second scenario usually ended up with Seb apologising for biting the blondes head off or a far overdue vent session. Sometimes those vent sessions resulted in a few tears Sam knew better than to point out. Sam didn’t mind waiting for the shorter male to get it all out, just like he didn’t mind sharing a bed. 

 

He kinda looked forward to that second part actually.. 

 

This wasn’t the first time Sam had crawled into Seb’s bed during an anxious night, most definitely wouldn’t be the last either. Sebastian's brain was riddled with nightmares and bad thoughts sometimes. On good days, like yesterday, it’s as if all the badness would wait until he went to bed to try letting itself out. Little things like a loud noise in the night or waking him up too fast could shake him up for the rest of the day. 

 

Apparently, the sound of Sam’s phone falling to the floor had caused Sebastian to jerk awake in his bed. That, accompanied with the persistent soreness on his chest and something else Seb refused to talk about, left Sebby an anxious mess. He’d called Sam over who was already balls deep in his own sexualy frustrated panic. Thankfully, Sebastian’s problems were always good at pulling Sam out of his own. By the time Sam had gotten over to the bed Sebastian was already pressed against the wall with his pillow moved to the side for Sam. Sam had fallen asleep quickly with a shaking Seb pressed to his side.

 

Which is exactly what he gets after hearing the squeaky sound of someone stomping down the basement steps to pound on the door and notify Sebastian that it was far past time for him to be up.

 

\--

 

A few hours later Sam finds himself walking down the mountain trail towards town. He’s empty handed and still a bit dazed from the awful glare Sebby had thrown his way before telling him to leave in a very Sebastian way.

 

After calming a trembling anxious Sebastian enough to convince him that food would make him feel better, he and Sam had headed upstairs for a late lunch. 

 

Things went as well as they usually do in the carpenter's house, and as soon as the sleepy pair made it to the top of the stairs, Sebastian was swept up in a hug by an overbearing Robin. As the shorter woman lovingly squeezed her oldest child Sam looked on in abject horror. Sebastian’s face crumpled and stretched in ways he’d never seen before, mouth opening in a silent scream Sam felt in his fucking bones.  _ Holy fucking  _ **_shit_ ** . With eyes bugged out and his face turning an especially painful shade of red, Sebastian bit his bottom lip hard enough bruise the skin, back going straight and rigid. Sam felt his own nipples cry out in sympathy. He covered his chest as Sebastian gasped loudly. 

 

Maybe Seb’s would just fall off, at this point. He probably wished they had if the tortured look on his face was anything to go by. Sam imagined it was sorta close to getting donkey kicked in the nuts. But only sorta. Nothing could hurt worse than that, he would know.

 

Maybe Seb would throw up on Robin the way Sam had beefed up in the grass that fabled summer night in Marnie’s pasture. His balls hurt just thinking about it.

 

Sebastian’s face twisted in pain, expression changing rapidly until he suddenly screamed  _ “FUCK!”  _ at the top of his lungs. Immediately after, a deeper voice yelled Sebastian’s name from Demetrius’ lab.

 

Sebastian quickly grabbed Robin by the arms to wrench her off of him before grinding out a quick “I love you.” through gritted teeth and physically flying down to his bathroom. Maru’s surprised face peaked around the corner just as the bathroom door had slammed shut. 

 

In yet another moment where Sam’s everything worked faster than his brain, he’d put himself between Robin and Sebastian. The look he’d received from the ginger woman should have set fire to everything he ever owned but he’d been on the bad end of it for years. Yeah, it might have been one of the most terrifying things he’d ever seen and yeah, he knows he should have built some kinda tolerance to it by now(he hadn’t), but somehow he’d stayed put and ignored the regularly disregarded voice of self preservation screaming at him to get down on the floor and lay belly up like a bad dog. 

 

“Sammy, move.”

 

“I-I can’t.”

 

Robins glare intensified.

 

“I swear to Yoba, Sam. If you and Seba-

 

“Diarrhea!”

 

“Dia- what?”

 

Sam floundered “Yeah! He uh.. Well he ate some food that’s been messing him up bad.. Real bad.”

 

Robin’s face went from suspicious to concerned “Is he okay?”

 

Sam slowly stepped back towards the bathroom “Yeah, he’ll be fine.. You just.. Squeezed him and uh..” he puts a hand on his stomach before making a downward motion “Just gotta, y’know..” another step “.. Help him out a bit.”

 

This time Robin’s concern turned into confusion.. And possibly disgust.

 

..Most definitely disgust.

 

“...You’re going to help him out?”

 

Sam’s back was against the wooden door. He shrugged before noticing his mistake and quickly nodding, hand moving over the door in search of the knob.

 

“Yeah. Cuz we’re bros.”

 

“What?”

 

“Y’know. Bros.”

 

“Bros?”

 

“Yeah, y’know.. It's a bro thing.”

 

Yoba, Sebastian was going to  _ murder _ him.

 

“.. A bro thing.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. We do it all the time.”

 

“... You help each other out in the bathroom.. All the time?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Robin paused. She looked between Sam and the door a few times before letting out what might have been a disappointed sigh “..Okay. I’ll leave you to it then.” She’d hesitated a moment before stepping away. Sams sure that, in the moment, Robin was probably both horrified and curious as to what else her favorite son and his best friend might be doing behind closed doors. She’d never guess that Sam had spent a good portion of the previous night both cleaning and swooning over wounds in her precious boys chest. Instead of voicing her concerns or questioning the frazzled blond any further, Robin headed back to the front room and sat down behind the desk. Robin was a smart woman, she knew when to choose her battles. 

 

Sam, on the other had, was neither of those things. 

 

The look he’d been given the moment he’d opened the bathroom door made him shut it immediately. He waited a few seconds before opening it again and receiving that same look, but this time Sebastian was rapidly moving closer and Sam knew that was his cue to leave.

 

Things could have gone worse.

 

..Or maybe possibly better.

 

Just a bit.

 

Maybe Sam  _ shouldn’t  _ have told Robin that Sebastian had probably just shit himself when she’d squeezed him.

 

And Maybe he could have thought of a better excuse but claiming uncontrollable bowel movements had always worked before and it had worked out today to. Well  _ mostly _ . It was absolutely foolproof. Who could ever fight that? No one was ever brave enough to go searching for evidence. Not even his mom and Jodi was a master at seeing through Sam’s bullshit(pun totally intended).

 

It’s not like Sam meant to fuck everything up. He knew Seb and he knew his family and how they reacted to things, especially things concerning Seb, and he knew Robin was willing to remove the hinges from the door in order to get to Sebby if she thought something was really wrong. Seb wouldn’t tell her anything either which just made her worry even more. And,  _ Yoba,  _ Demetrius. Demetrius was in the next room and it was already apparent that he was pissed that Seb had yelled and if he thought Sebastian was yelling at Robin things would have turned into a whole different kind of shit storm. And if he came down and saw an upset Robin knocking on the door with Sebastian yelling at her to go away things would get even worse.

 

Sam didn’t want all that. He didn’t want an upset Seb standing out by the lake angrily smoking through half a pack of cigarettes. Robin wouldn’t give him space and Demetrius would be angry because Sebastian made Robin worry. Everyone would get so upset and all it would do is push Sebastian further away from them and further out towards the city.

 

And Sam just-

 

_ Ugh. _

 

He didn’t want to think about it.

 

The day was already weird.

 

He was tired hungry and frustrated.

 

And _ fuck  _ he’d left his jacket at Seb’s.

 

To top it all off his dick was a weird kinda sore that he felt in the root of it as if he’d been edging for a while and he was about to cream himself. It sounded really great in the moment but it wasn’t so fun when you were trying to walk through town. Or share a bed with your best friend.

 

Sam lets out a lasting sigh as he opens the door to his house. He pauses in the doorway to listen. It’s still too early for Vince to be back and if he was the living bullet would already be latched onto his leg by now.

 

The house looked hella clean, not that it wasn’t always, but this was a post mom clean showing that his mom had made her rounds for the day and was probably out decompressing after her daily panicked cleaning sesh.

 

Sam frowns at the thought, guilt nagging at his brain, but he’s glad he’s got the house to himself. All he wants is to stuff his face with the frozen pizza in the back of the freezer while sitting in nothing but loose boxers and man spreading. This would be the perfect time to beat his shit but he’s not sure if he’s in the right mindset for that. And his dick still feels really fucking weird. But maybe if he did he’d get all the crazy out. 

 

Fuck that sounded great.

 

Maybe he would wait on that pizza..

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to cut that off right before sexy time haha. Seemed like a good place to end things.
> 
> Sorry this took so long!! My brothers came home for their separate spring breaks and then I caught a bad case of the sads. I'm in a not so fun situation that makes me home bound for most of the time and sadly I can go weeks without being able to leave the house. I'm basically at the mercy of others when it comes to getting out of here for a bit and it gets kinda rough sometimes.
> 
> Also I'm not sure what I'm doing with this fic because it was supposed to be maybe two chapters and wowee its gonna be much longer than that. It's basically doing its own thing at this point and I guess thats okay??? I just don't want it to get bad and stretched out.
> 
> Should I try to wrap things up soon ???
> 
> Thanks for reading friendos!! Hope to see you all again real soon!!  
> And please feel free to follow me on the twitter bot. My name is @ItFlare


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was the point of all this if all he was gonna do was twist his dick to the thought of that lewd whimper Sebby had let out when the firs- shit! 
> 
> Sam needed some new visuals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam uses his hands

Sam had started out on the bed, after stripping down to his boxers, then switched to his computer after struggling to conjure up any kinda sexy thoughts that  _ didn’t _ have anything to do with the past thirty six hours of his life. 

 

What was the point of all this if all he was gonna do was twist his dick to the thought of that lewd whimper Sebby had let out when the firs-  _ shit. _

 

Sam needed some new visuals.

 

Beating your shit to the thought of your best _ best _ **_best_ ** friend was not the bro thing to do. His dad had taught him that years ago. Well.. Kinda. What his dad had  _ really  _ said was that if he had someone he just couldn’t get his mind off of he needed to do something about it. This was most definitely not the  _ something _ that his dad had been talking about and Sebby was  _ definitely _ not being thought of in that way. But the words still applied. Just differently.

 

They were bros. 

 

Really,  _ really _ good bros.

 

Like, elite friendship levels.

 

Till the end of time kinda shit.

 

..Even if Seb was mad enough to probably try strangling him in his bathroom. 

 

But, yeah, Seb was his favorite person. He wasn’t mindless fap material. That wouldn’t be cool. Seb wouldn’t like that. End of story.

 

And it’s not like he was sitting here trying to touch himself to the thought of Seb. That was the point of all this. Squeezing in a quick hand job or two would be enough to get all this pent up weirdness out and everything would be fine. Too much sexual frustration or whatever the hell it was. It had been a while and Sam was a very healthy young man with an  _ extremely _ healthy appetite. He just hadn’t been taking care of his needs.

 

It was normal.

 

Sam jiggled his mouse to wake the computer. After signing in he immediately opens an incognito tab and hooks his earbuds into the speakers. No one was there to hear anything but there was no telling when his mom would get home and he swears the woman just  _ knows _ when he’s trying to jerk his shit. It always made him feel weird to hear her walking around the house while he had his hand on his dick. Even worse was after he’d snuck the lotion from the family bathroom into his room and it had suddenly been replaced with a safer unscented lotion a few days after. They’d never talked about it but Sam knew where it had come from. Especially after he found the older lotion bottle back in the bathroom the next day. 

 

_ Yoba, _ this was not what he wants to be thinking about right now.

 

He lets out a frustrated sigh as he types in the name of his favorite porn site and begins to browse. 

 

Sam wasn’t a picky guy, at least he didn’t think so. He wasn’t a big fan of giant massive breasts or watching men choke out other women. The latter made his gag reflex act up even though he sometimes loved that dazed look in their eyes. He was big on eye contact and when chicks got noisy, even though he was usually pretty quiet himself. The most Sam ever let out was a groan and a few quick curses. Sure he was a fan of talking while fooling around, but for him it was mostly about getting a reaction. He loved to take care of his partner. Any weird kinda shit with bodily fluids was completely out of the question. So was watching a guy get his dick beat to hell.. Or basically anyone getting anything beaten to any extent. 

 

In the grand scheme of things Sam was pretty soft and very visual. He got off on knowing whatever girl he was with was having a good time. He loved the sounds they’d make. The craziest thing he liked was probably the girls with tattoos and maybe even androgynous chicks. There was one with black hair he  _ really _ liked. She’d been a favorite of his for a while, especially after she’d switched up her hair cut to something shorter. She had smaller breasts and wicked cheekbones. Her moans sounded pretty fake but somehow that didn’t ruin things for Sam. There was just something about her that always got him to the finish line.

 

Sam types in the chicks most definitely fake name and clicked on one of her most watched videos.

 

In the center of the screen is some guys raging boner. The heads a deep shade of red, his balls weighing heavily in his hand. The camera is positioned to look downward towards the guys junk as if it was sitting on his chest. He gently fondles himself before giving a slight tug at his balls that made a familiar warmth blossom in Sams lower stomach. It always got a reaction out of Sam as if he were experiencing sympathy pleasure. A delicate hand comes from off screen and pushes the mans more masculine one away. The dark haired woman's face comes into screen. She smiles up at the camera and moves her fringe out of her face to show dark brown eyes, before rolling the guys balls in one of her hands. The skin visible above the mans cock tenses from her ministrations and Sam sucks in a breath. She continues until the head is glistening with precum. 

 

Sams dick twitches, now poking out of the opening of his boxers slightly. He’s almost completely hard. After pushing the elastic of his plaid boxers down over his cock he palms himself with one hand, getting a single pump of lotion from the bottle purposefully placed on his desk with the other.

 

The man on screen groans and,  _ shit, _ Sam feels the guys satisfaction all the way down to the root of his cock. The girl giggles, saying something  Sam completely misses over the  feeling of instant relief when he finally takes himself in hand.  _ Fuck _ , he’s needed this. There's a slight soreness from the ceaseless hardon he’d sported the night before and all the time he’d spent trying to press the blood out of his dick with the heel of his hand. The pain adds something to his pleasure, another layer of something that amplified how fucking good it felt to finally seek release.

 

Drawn out moans play through his ear buds, this time from the woman whose tongue is slowly making its way up the mans shaft. She laps at the head before kissing it slowly, smearing precum all over her lips as she stares into the camera. When she finally takes the head into her mouth Sam starts pumping himself in earnest. His lubed up fingers slide easily over his shaft as he thumbs at the weeping head. 

 

God, he wants this. He’s so fucking jealous right now. 

 

He hasn’t been blown or seen any action in what felt like  _ years  _ and he’d do just about anything to have a head of dark hair between his legs and those beautiful grey eyes peering up at him. They’d be half mast, shrouded in that cloudy sexed up haze that came with getting a good dicking to the throat. Sam would move dark fringe in order to see a better view of their face so he could tell them just how fucking beautiful they were and that they were making him feel fucking fantastic. Maybe they’d let out a familiar groan, the masculine rumble vibrating through Sam’s cock.  _ Fuck.  _ He’d love to coax out those noises and press his thumb against that pout in a way he may have wanted to do for a while now.

 

Pale hands would be grasping at Sam’s bare thighs, nails digging in as Sam bumped against the back of his throat. His eyes would water and Sam would wipe away at the dark tear tracks smearing quickly applied eyeliner down pale cheeks. 

 

_ Fuck,  _ Sam never wanted to see him cry but this would be the exception. 

 

Grey eyes would close in concentration or maybe even bliss. Sam drops his head back to revel in the moment. The warmth of that mouth and those pretty lips sliding over his shaft would drive him wild.

 

Sam would make sure to brush those silky black bangs back out of that beautiful face after they fell back. He could never understand why anyone would want to cover it up. He loves those dark rimmed grey eyes, those high cheekbones and the dark lashes that fanned over an obvious blush. The red hugh was always so apparent when he’d blush. Sam wished he could see it more.

 

There would be a muffled gagging sound as he pushed a bit too far into that warm wet mouth. Sam would stop thrusting and pull back until he was given the go ahead to continue. Muscles would tighten and stretch around his cock causing him to groan and curse before letting out a gentle stream of praises.

 

_ “You're so fucking good.”  _ he’d murmur  _ “Fuck, I can’t get enough of you.” _

 

The reaction would be more tears and a low whine as Sam continued thrusting slowly. He’d pull on the dark fringe in order to get the other man to look up as he dragged his nails down Sam’s taut thighs.

 

_ “You’re so fucking pretty. So goddamn pretty” _

 

The whines would continue, nails digging deeper into skin, as Sam upped the pace. He’d thrust in and out, speeding up as his balls tightened. The heat in Sam’s belly was building, electricity shooting up his spine as pleasure built and overrode his senses. 

 

_ “Sebby. Oh God, Seb... Seb.” _

 

Sebastian looks up at him with a fucked out expression. His pupils are blown out, grey barely visible through the haze of lust. He moans as if on the brink of orgasm, a hand leaving Sam’s thigh to tweak at a pierced nipple.

 

Sam is suddenly jerked out of his fantasy by what might be the greatest orgasm of his entire life. Hot cum hits the bottom of his chin and he grunts Seb’s name one last time before slumping back into his chair. He’s out of breath, thighs twitching and spasming after the aftermath of his orgasm. It’s everything he thought it would be but the warm cloud he’s in is nothing short of  _ absolutely fucking  _ **_blissful_ ** until it's suddenly not. As consciousness creeps back to Sam’s spent body nausea slams his empty stomach.

 

_ Did I just- _

 

Sam grabs at his stomach hand jerking back as it touches the cooling cum on his torso. A milky blob drips off of his chin and into his lap only escalating the sick feeling that had taken over.

 

_ Yoba,  _ this isn’t what it looked like.

 

Well, yeah, he’s sitting in his computer chair covered from chin to stomach in his spunk and that was very much what it looked like..

 

But it’s not- 

 

He couldn’t-

 

_ It’s not like this. _

 

Things weren’t…

 

Well..

 

They just weren’t!

 

And Sam didn’t look at Sebastian like that. Of course he lit up when Sebby would enter the room and, yeah, he was always happy to see him and he’d do anything for him but Seb was also his best friend and those were all normal things. Sebastian would always be different and that was fine because no one ever knew Sam the way Seb did and they probably never would. 

 

Sam didn’t look at Sebastian the way he’d look at girls. Didn’t feel the same about him either. There was never any pressure. He didn’t worry that he’d be taken advantage of or that he should be trying harder while with him. There were no weird expectations everything was mostly chill and natural. He’d never fantasized about having sex with Sebastian, even when they slept in the same bed. Yeah, if he really stretched things he could say he liked cuddling with Sebby but he was a touchy guy and Seb needed some kinda love sometimes. Sam was the one who usually initiated it so it wasn’t  _ just _ because of Sebby but.. well..

 

Things just weren’t  _ that way _ . 

 

Not with Seb.

 

And that was comfortable.

 

Besides, people had weird sex dreams about people they weren’t interested in all the time. It was normal. Just because your brain did some weird subconscious sex thing featuring a person didn’t mean that you were in love with them. Sam hadn’t gotten off in a while, that was all. And it just so happened that Seb was the person he’d been around most lately. He’d just projected all this pent up sexual frustration at Sebastian.

 

..Which wasn’t very fair to Seb. Wasn’t the right thing to do. 

 

Sam swallows as he gets up to clean himself off.

 

Sebastian wouldn’t like it if he knew Sam was pumping his dick while thinking about him. It wasn’t right to objectify his friend like that. It was different with the chick on the screen, she’d signed up for it. She wanted that kind of thing.

 

Sebastian didn’t. He was quiet and slow to warm up to people. He didn’t like being stared at or touched by strangers. At no point in time did he ever sign up to be Sam’s wank material and Sam felt really fucking bad about it. 

 

He grimaces down at the mess he’d made on himself as he wipes the cooling wet spots away with a wad of tissues. His stomach felt heavy and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

 

Maybe he’d just been spending too much time with Sebastian?

 

He thinks that maybe they should take a small break from each other but the thought makes his heart hurt. He needed to get a much Sebby time as he could before Seb-

 

Well..

 

He didn’t want to think about it. 

 

The whole thing made him really fucking tired in the same way thinking about how sad his mom must be to be away from his dad for so long did. 

 

_ Fuck, _ everything was just too weird right now.

 

After throwing out his sticky handful of tissues Sam makes his way over to the bed and collapses onto it. He’s too tired to think about these things anymore and his stomach twists in knots. With an everlasting sigh he haphazardly pulls the blanket over himself and buries his head beneath the pillow.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> Everyones comments on the last chapter were so nice and I was super inspired to work! Thank you all!!!
> 
> So somehow while writing this chapter I became stay-in-bed-for-days sick THEN I fell up a stair then down a whole flight of them. Like I literally fell down the stairs an hour ago and I hopped back up here to put up this chapter because it needs to rereleased before something kills me lmao.
> 
> Pray 4 me ya'll  
> Any kudos and comments are deeply appreciated!!  
> Thanks for reading and I hope to see you all again real soon!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam can take a few days of the silent treatment. What he can’t take is the extra free time that leaves his mind room to wander and think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN

Things get kinda weird after that.

 

There's this constant itch under Sam’s skin. An unending thrumming that if he thinks too hard on it, it grabs at him and steals all of his attention away from whatever he’s doing. It’s weird and he thinks he might be fixating or...  _ obsessing _ over things but he really can’t tell. He does his best to ignore it. He’s good at that. It's easier. 

 

It’s dangerous to sit and think on things all the time. He really could, but if he did that where would he be? 

 

Sams always been pretty positive. Seb’s told him that it's both one of his favorite and most hated things about him. A “Double edged sword” he’d called it. Sam’s not exactly sure what he meant when he’d said that a few years ago but as they’ve both aged and their realities had darkened just a bit it’s slowly started making more sense. 

 

Or maybe he was looking too far into it.

 

And this weirdness.

 

It wasn’t..  _ Like that. _

 

Whatever  _ that _ was.

 

_ It  _ was dumb.

 

Fucking stupid.

 

And he feels bad. Not like he fucked up kinda bad but just kinda weird bad in a way he honestly can’t put into words. He tries and all he can think of is a little fearful and very confused.. Or something. This wasn’t normal for him. 

 

Is he  _ ashamed _ ?

 

_ But why? _

 

Besides the obvious…

 

Which is really not so obvious. At least he tells himself it’s not.

 

He wishes he could talk to Sebby about it but this all started with Seb and the thought of seeing him right now makes his throat kinda tight. Also, Sebastian is very much not talking to Sam right now. Still seething about Sam accidentally announcing to the entirety of his household that Seb had shit himself when Robin hugged him. In retrospect, it wasn’t the smartest thing Sam had ever done but it pulled attention away from Sebby’s new nipple piercings he didn’t want anyone knowing about so it’s kinda-win in Sam’s book. Coulda been worse. 

 

Coulda been Robin fretting and Demetrius yelling and Sebastian shutting down so hard he stops taking care of himself. 

 

_ The worst _ is what it could have been.

 

Sam can take a few days of the silent treatment. What he can’t take is the extra free time that leaves his mind room to wander and think. 

 

Sam deals with these feelings by kind of  _ not.  _ He’s not really sure where to look for an answer to a problem he isn’t sure about. He knows where it started but well..

 

He starts by taking on a few extra shifts at work. Everything he did at Joja Mart was repetitive and lacked any kind of thought. It was easy to lose himself in the constant back and forth motion of the mop and crazy wild ass names of the canned food. He didn’t mind stocking the shelves but he  _ hated  _ stacking the fruit. One wrong move and everything came toppling down.

 

And it did. It always did. 

 

( _ Because fuck that place. _ )

 

Which is how he found himself in his constant dance with the mop. Again. Which is okay because it’s mindless enough to let him focus on the music blaring through his headphones instead of the bullshit feelings that try to clog his throat.

 

Seb always laughed when Sam would woefully tell him that he’d caused yet another orange avalanche.

 

The thought makes Sam smile down at the wet tiles of the store until he remembers that Sebastian was who started all of this and something chokes him and that makes his blood run cold for all of a second. 

 

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking_ **stupid** _._

 

He’s not mad at Seb. No, Not really. 

 

Yeah, he’s kinda over the whole cold shoulder bullshit Seb was currently fond of and, yeah, Sebby should probably find a better way to be angry at someone that would at least leave them space to  _ apologise  _ or _ some fucking shit.  _ But it’s not like Sam was really trying at this point, and he’s also pretty sure that the carpenters household wasn’t the best place to learn how to appropriately be angry at someone. Or to healthily forgive. 

 

_ Yikes. _

 

But no, Sam wasn’t mad. Uncomfortable, but not mad. And it wasn’t Seb’s fault, not at all. This was all Sam and his weird perverted… well..

 

Even  _ thinking _ the word is a bit too much.

 

He hasn’t touched himself or his computer since.

 

Just feels too weird. Shouldn’t do that to his friend.

 

He doesn’t well..  _ You know. _

 

**That.**

 

Sam tries to lose himself in his music. It’s by far his favorite thing to do. It’s times like these where a certain beat just  _ gets  _ him in a way nothing else in the world could. He can’t explain it, he just  _ feels _ it so damn deep in himself it’s like something fills in all the gaps or digs them deeper until he finds what he’s looking for. It’s fucking life affirming.  _ Something _ understands, even if it's just a dip in the song or the power in the second chorus.

 

He plays the  _ hard  _ stuff, the  _ heavy _ shit.

 

The songs that pull it all out of him and lay it bare. It feels like he’s dissecting himself sometimes, but today it's more like pushing the crazy shit away or washing all the gunky stuff out of his chest. 

 

It sounds really fucking woo woo (and maybe it is) but it works for him.

 

He’s deep in the zone. His chest swoops with the beat as he mouths the lyrics, staying silent so not to disturb the music. He’s alone in the house and everything is  _ just _ right.

 

Until there's a knock on the door.

 

Which, fucking  _ of course _ there is. 

 

Sam’s fingers freeze against the strings of his guitar. Instead of jumping up immediately to answer he stays in place, with his legs bent at the knee and the guitar resting against his stomach. He’s laid out on his back staring up at the ceiling in hopes that whoever it is will go away and leave him to his playing. 

 

Predictably enough, they don’t, and Sam lets out a long exasperated sigh before getting up and placing his guitar down on the couch.  _ Gently, _ because that's his sweet angel princess baby and if it ever breaks he will to.

 

He opens the door with what he hopes is a convincing smile and gives a chipper “Hey, what’s up?” before his brain comes to a screeching halt.

 

Sebastian is standing there in the pouring rain in nothing but his worn black hoodie and a whole lot of eye liner that had smeared and ran down his face. His dark hair is flat and plastered to his cheeks and he must be really fucking cold because there's a rosyness that's not usually there. Wide grey eyes blink up at Sam who, instead of inviting his best friend in, just stares.

 

Sam wants to pull Sebby in and yank the hoodie right over his head and replace it with a towel or blanket or _some shit_ because it’s sorta warm but not so much that Sebby needs to be running around in the overcast _chilly-as-fuck-lowkey-freezing_ rain that this punk seems to think is some kinda spiritual experience and-

 

“..Sam?”

 

“Wh-yea- Seb! What are you  _ doing _ ?”

 

Sebastian makes a face at the blondes sputtering, shrinking in on himself a bit. He looks away then down at the ground before presenting the balled up wad of fabric in his arms. It's denim, Sam’s jacket that he’s been too chicken to go back for. It’s probably the driest thing on Seb’s person at the moment.

 

“.. You left your jacket on my floor.” he replies, voice low and almost drowned out by the unending downpour. He looks uncomfortable. Sam doubts it has anything to do with the heavy fabric sticking to his body.

 

“Oh, um.. Thanks.”

 

Sebastian nods. He hands Sam’s prized jacket over. Their fingers touch for less than a second but Sam can feel the chill on Sebby’s skin. Fuck, he’s so cold and all Sam’s doing is staring like an asshole.

 

Sam flounders, trying to think of something to say, which is absolutely unheard of, especially with Sebastian. He wants to invite Sebby in and warm him up because Seb’s self preservation skills were somehow even worse than the blondes own as if he had a fucking death wish and- 

 

God, he feels sick.

 

The air is tense and awkward. It’s obvious Sebastian feels it. He keeps giving Sam these weird looks before looking off to the side. His arms are crossed infront of him being held tightly against his chest. He’s fucking cold, Sam  _ knows _ he is even if he won’t admit it no matter how many times Sam asks.

 

Normally, Sam wouldn’t hesitate to invite Seb in, especially in this weather. He wasn’t above tugging Sebastian into his chest either and not letting go until Sebastian was warm again. Anything to warm him up.

 

He wants to. He really does.

 

But it’s never been awkward with Sebastian before and right now it is.

 

Sam really.. Doesn’t know how to deal with it.

 

He needs to say something before all of his stupid staring and discomfort drives Sebastian away 

He should be able to shake this  _ weirdness _ off and move on. Sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened. But he can’t because it’s Seb and Sebby is really fucking important to him and all this shits just got him thinking and well- He… he doesn’t know what to do.

 

And it looks like Sebastian doesn’t either. 

 

After what might be the most painful three minutes of Sam’s life, Sebastian steps away from the house further into the oncoming storm.

 

“Well, um.. I’m gonna go.”

 

Sam wants to reach out, demand Sebastian come inside and warm up first or at least take an umbrella with him.

 

Instead he asks “..Are you sure?” and Sebastian nods, taking another few steps backwards before turning and quickly walking away. Sam listens to his waterlogged converse sloshing through the mud until the sound fades into the distance. 

 

He should go after him. He could. If Sam wanted to he could catch up to Sebastian easily. He’d pull him towards the house with an unwavering grip on his wrist, not letting go until Seb stopped fucking  _ fighting _ something that was being done for his benefit for once in his damn life. They’d play some tunes or laugh at stupid shit until Vincent came home. Seb would eat dinner with Sam and his family and if Sam played his cards right Seb would stay the night. They’d share Sam’s bed, it’s what they’ve always done, and Sam would try to get them to bed some kinda early(at least to Sebastian) because chances are, Seb isn’t doing so hot and he needs the sleep. If Seb stayed awake they’d talk until they couldn’t and everything would be just fucking fine. Normal even.

 

It’s what a good friend would do.

 

But it’s not what Sam does. He feels stuck, rooted to the spot, with the door open and the cold air coming in. He can’t see Sebastian anymore, he’s probably already down at the beach, the place he always goes when the weather is crummy and no ones there to bother him.

 

The heavy pattering of the rain is suddenly the loudest thing Sam has ever heard. His heart pounds in his chest as his stomach sinks and twists in his gut. His everything feels so damn heavy but his knees are stuck in place as if they were too rusted by the rain to bend. He feels sick, feels fucking  **bad** because he knows he is and-  _ how fucking dare he? _

 

Eventually Sam shuts the door and slides down till he hits the ground, knees bent at a weird angle in front of him. It feels like there's a hole punched in his heart and cement churning in his throat. His head falls back against the door with a thump and he presses the heels of his hands into his eye sockets until he sees white. It’s hard to breath like this. It's like his lungs don’t want to work. 

 

He wouldn’t have cared about all this bullshit a few days ago. Sebastian would be warming up in his house. 

 

He thinks part of the problem might be that he cares so goddamn much, probably more than he knew he did and it’s really fucking scary because his brain just keeps trying to blur those lines no matter how many times he tries to keep himself too busy to think on it. 

 

And he knows that as he’s doing that and trying hard not to puke on his moms nice rug, that Seb is out on the dock alone and probably catching his death. 

 

It takes time, but after counting down from twenty and taking slow careful breathes Sam leans to the side and fishes his cellphone out of his pocket then texts the only person that can help. The response is immediate, a quick “Be there in a minuet” from Abigail. 

 

Sam stays on the floor and opens the door enough to slide himself outside. He sits outside on the soggy welcoming mat, too deep in his weird paranoia to pay any attention to the cold wet feeling seeping into his skinny jeans or the goosebumps covering his arms. He’d told Abby that Sebastian was heading down to the docks in this crummy shit weather and he wasn’t able to pull him inside. 

 

Part of him is glad they the three of them have always been weird fucked up kids because Abby didn’t feel the need to ask questions. Sam really didn’t have any good answers. 

 

A loud clomping sound followed by a purple raincoat holding an umbrella under its arm runs by far sooner than Sam expected. He feels like he’s holding his breath until he sees Abigail and a doleful Seb stepping off the bridge huddling together under the umbrella. He can barely see through the rain but he’s sure Sebastian is hunched over and doing his best to keep a neutral face.

 

Sam lets out a long winded sigh when he gets back into the house. He feels significantly better knowing that Seb wasn’t about to end up on Harvey’s doorstep with hypothermia again. The horrible feelings screaming through his brain had quieted down to a dull hum. He wonders how often Seb feels like that. Is he like that all the time? Is that why he smokes so damn much? If so, how is he even still alive?

 

The thought turns sour in Sam’s mouth. He reaches for his phone to text a quick thank you to Abby. 

 

Eventually he makes his way back to the couch, flopping onto it as if he’d done anything that warranted being as tired as he seemed to be. His guitar falls to the side and almost hits him straight in the nuts. He curses loudly as if it had hit him then slumps down sideways to lay with the acoustic love of his life. His phone vibrates from under him and he maneuvers himself around enough to be able to pull it out of his pocket without getting up. It would have taken far less time if he had actually sat up and gotten it out like a human being, he’s well aware, but he’s fucking tired and it would have made far too much sense. He opens the text to see a picture of Sebastian wearing a green face mask with a surprised look on his face. He’s holding a an open bottle of black nail polish, his favorite. 

 

_ So fucking Sebby. _

 

Sam smiles down at the image, his warm feelings tinged with panic. It’s a weird mix. He hopes it's not something he has to get used to.

 

But if it is, well… It's worth it.

 

Sebs really fucking worth it.

 

And Sam needs to get his shit straight.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I changed my username! Sorry if it confused anyone.
> 
> I'm not too happy with this chapter. I re-wrote it multiple times and I think its time to just put it out there. Its way more angst than I was going for so early on but I guess I just had to get it out of my system. Sorry it took so long. The platonic Sam to my Seb suddenly and uncharacteristically decided to move half a continent away and I've been.. very sad. I didn't want it to seep into the story too much but I guess we're just gonna run with it.
> 
> I have LOVED reading all of your reviews!! They've all been so kind <3
> 
> Pls feel free to follow my dusty twitter. I am in DESPERATE need of interaction
> 
> @ItFlare


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows she can see right through him. Sam’s not good at keeping face and Abigail’s always been incredibly perceptive. For all he knows she’s already aware of what's happening, she just wants him to admit it to himself.
> 
> And Sam really doesn’t want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INTRODUCING PELICAN TOWNS RESIDENT CHAOTIC GOOD WITCH
> 
> this is unbeta'd because I'm trash. I don't want to look at it anymore

 

It’s late by the time Sam finally gets to clock out- well it’s not _actually_ late, but _he_ is.

 

It doesn’t help that he has to swipe his ID three times to clock out because the godforsaken machine doesn’t want to read the shitty plastic card he’d coincidentally dropped into his lunch after also dropping it into the mop bucket of soapy yuck. Could be why the damn thing didn’t feel like working but.. Probably not.

 

He almost slips on the floor he’d just mopped as he hustles on out of soul sucking Joja mart, ignoring the miserable voice of his boss barking at him to stop running in the store. He yells a quick apology then continues to zoom past the husk of a woman who always seems to be manning the same cashier. Sam wonders if she’s real sometimes.

 

Abby had agreed to meet him at the saloon over thirty minutes ago. He’d tried getting out on time but Morris had demanded that Sam mop around the cash registers before he left for the day. Sam’s sure that if he checked his phone right now there’d be a flood of text messages from Pelican Towns resident chaotic good witch. He unzips his shitty Joja jacket and flips his cap around as he crosses the bridge towards town before almost crashing into Penny who calls out his name using the exact same tone his mother would. He yells a quick apology, promising that they’d hang out soon before continuing toward the saloon.

 

Sam finally pulls his phone out before entering the saloon and as expected, Abigail’s contact name is the first thing he sees on his lockscreen. She’d left a few messages consisting of Sam’s name repeating over and over again until it evolved into one long drawn out “SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!” with more A’s than the screen has room for. There’s a message from Seb beneath the unending wall of text, asking if Sam was coming to the Saloon tonight. Of course he was! But.. He could see why Sebastian was wondering. He probably thinks Sam is avoiding him

 

And if he does, he’s not wrong.

 

Sam feels kinda… super fucking bad _._ He hasn’t spoken to Sebby since Seb had shown up on Sam’s doorstep looking like a waterlogged puppy stuck out in the cold. And before that, he hadn’t spoken to Sebastian since the faux pants shitting incident.

 

Sam tells himself that the phone works both ways and that, technically, Seb was the one who started it even though he had a pretty good reason to be angry. Sam tries to swallow down the weird feeling in his throat as he wonders if everything went down okay after he’d left the carpenters house.

 

Maybe Demetrius had tried to sit Sebastian down for another one of his famous “talks”. Maybe Maru had tried to step in to diffuse the situation and only made it worse because Demetrius always held his one and only child on such a high pedestal above Sebastian. Maybe Robin had tried to speak to Demetrius about the way he interacted with Seb and it had lead to them going rounds in the kitchen again.

 

Or maybe nothing else had happened and everyone had left Sebastian alone.

 

Sam replies to Sebs text with a quick “Of course I will!” before taking a calming breath and climbing the stairs to the Saloons entrance.

 

Gus stands at the bar prepping the cashier for the usual Friday night rush. He looks up from counting money and greets Sam as the blonde shoves his phone back into his pocket. Emily quickly turns away from organising the alcohol on the back wall and gives Sam a dazzling smile. She’s always absolutely radiant and Sam can’t think of a single person in town that didn’t like her.

 

“Hey, Sammy! You’re early tonight.” Emily, observes while leaning forward on the bartop “If you’re here for Abby she’s already in the back.”

 

Sam thanks her and heads to the gangs usual hang out spot. He finds Abigail sitting on the blue sofa rapidly typing something into her phone. If the constant vibration against his thigh is anything to go by she's probably messaging him. He stands there silently waiting for her to notice but she seems too preoccupied. The bat charm jingles against her phone as she continues typing. Eventually Sam rolls his eyes. The vibrations in his pocket continue.

 

“Abby!”

 

Abigail gasps, shoulders jumping as her phone falls to the ground with a jingle. Sams phone finally finishes buzzing as the witch glares.

 

“Shit, Sam!” Abby hisses “You could have said something!”

 

The blonde sighs, fighting a smile. The normalcy that came with Abigails antics was a welcome relief. Any kind of distraction was a godsend at this point.

 

“Abby I’ve been standing here forever. You’ve been too busy trying to kill my battery to notice..”

 

“Whatever! You're late!” she pauses to look him up and down before flapping her hand in his direction as if to ward away a stink “And take off those awful Joja clothes. You smell like corporate sin and bleach.”

 

Sam takes a quick sniff at his shoulder before throwing the jacket into the corner and placing the hat down on the couch. Abigail grimaces at the offending object and scoots further toward the couches arm.

 

“Better?” Sam asks

 

Abigail flicks the hat off the couch “Much.”

 

Ignoring his upside down hat now laying in front of the couch,Sam leans back against the pool table, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. He avoids making eye contact out of fear of being the first to speak. Abby never told him why she wanted to speak to him one on one but he has a good hunch it has something to do with Seb.

 

It felt like everything had something to do with Sebby lately.

 

 _Fuck,_ Sam was being obsessive.

 

The awful ball of bullshit nonsense in Sam’s throat makes its presence known again. Sam swallows a few times, stomach churning uncomfortably. He tries to play it off but bites his lip when he sees the downward tilt of Abby’s lips.

 

He knows she can see right through him. Sam’s not good at keeping face and Abigail’s always been incredibly perceptive. For all he knows she’s already aware of what's happening, she just wants him to admit it to himself.

 

And Sam _really_ doesn’t want to.

 

It’s just not that easy.

 

But he’s not exactly sure why it's so fucking hard either.

 

They both sit there in a standstill, Abigail looking up at him in a way that makes Sam feel transparent. There's no judgement in her stare, only concern. It makes the guilt festering beneath his skin thrum in discontentment. She stays silent, giving the tall blonde time to make a decision. He appreciates it though he’s not too sure what his options are. He could make something up and maybe Abby would let it go. Probably not, knowing her. Especially since this was bothering both him and Seb. Sam feels his face heating up in what he guesses is shame.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asks, finally.

 

The sigh Sam lets out is withering. He feels himself deflate as he lets it go.

 

“... I don’t know how.”

 

Abby smiles at that, nodding her head toward the empty cushion beside her.

 

“We’ll figure it out.”

 

Sam almost laughs at how sure she is. He takes the cue to sit next to her and they wordlessly turn towards each other with their legs crossed in front of them.

 

Sam isn’t sure how Abigail always spoke with such confidence, even though it felt like the world was always trying to prove her wrong. It wasn’t normal for anyone to spend nights whispering to the tombstones in the cemetery or to claim that the spirits became most active in the fall. Sam knows that Abby is fully aware of all of that and what the others have said about her. Yet somehow she never let it bother her, even when he and Seb were skeptical and her parents played it off as a phase.

 

Sam wishes he could be any bit as confident in what he was about to say.

 

Abby shoves his knee to pull him out of the unending mess his brain had recently become.

 

“So what's up, Sam?” she asks

 

Sam’s really not sure where to start so he answers with a shrug.

 

“Oh come on, Sammy. Don’t be such a Seb.”

 

Sam’s sure he makes a face at that because Abigail lights up at his reaction.

 

“Oh, so it’s Sebastian!”

 

Sam flushes, “Uh well- uh. I mean-”

 

“It is.”

 

“..Yeah.”

 

She rubs her hands together “Okay. Good first step. So I know you guys had some kinda fight or you did something stupid to piss off Sebastian again.. Or he was being a moody queen. Was he having one of his bad days?”

 

“Um.. kinda and yes to the first two.”

 

“So what did you do?”

 

Sam opens his mouth to answer but stops himself before anything comes out. How’s he supposed to tell her what happened and leave out those blessed nipple piercings without outright saying that he told Sebs mom that he’d filled his pants. He’s not sure how to so he does what he does best.

 

“Sammy-”

 

“He shit himself!”

 

She chokes “What?”

 

“Well, like, not _actually_ but-”

 

“Seb shit his pants?”

 

“Nono. He didn’t really I just-”  
  
“So you shit _your_ pants.”

 

“Abby, nobody shit their pants! I just told them Seb did.”

 

The witch pauses, staring back at the blonde incredulously. Her mouth is open, stuck as if she’d stopped herself midword. She closes her mouth slowly, looking Sam up and down in search of an answer. The answer must never come because she shakes her head and squints her eyes as if in pain.

 

“So _why_ did you tell Sebastian's family that he’d shat himself?”

 

Sam shrugs, “Well… y’know.”

 

“No, Sam. I _really_ don’t.”

 

Shit.

 

“Well.. I didn’t want everyone to get all angry and Seb to get all sad and upset because no one in that house can handle giving him two seconds of space when he needs it.”

 

“But did he need space because you told them he’d blown up in his pants?”

 

Sam stops. Well she was right… Kinda?

 

“You're not…” He makes hand motions mimicking placing the information into his own figurative boxes “You're not wrong.” he admits, placing that information into the left box. “But you're not right either.” this goes to the right, coincidentally. Sam hadn’t really made the connection until Abby made it for him.

 

Abigail scrubs both hands over her face with a groan.

 

“Sam, I just can’t with you sometimes.”

 

Sam just can’t with himself either to be honest.

 

“..But that can’t be all that happened.”

 

Yoba, no. But he wishes it was.

 

“Sammy, spill! You guys get into stupid shit like this all the time and you're always over it in four days _max._ The two of you wouldn’t be so bent out of shape over dumb stuff like this.”

 

She’s right. Sam hates that she is. He also hates the look she’s giving him because goddamn women are _scary._ You’d think he’d be used to it by now. He remembers his dad telling him not to fight _the look_ because it never worked. Sam can’t handle the intimidation and he’s damn sure he would have cracked by now if his thoughts weren’t such a jumbled mess.

 

He scoots backwards, rigid as a pole and wishing that he had his dads oversized denim jacket to hide himself in. There's only so much space to move before his back hits the couches arm. He feels trapped and it's disgustingly accurate.

 

“C’mon, Sam. Something weird's going on between you guys and it's fucking you both up.”

 

She’s not wrong. Her words feel like a punch in the gut. Sam crosses his arms in front of himself, bracing his hands against his elbows and looks anywhere but at Abigail. He feels himself slipping into that shitty void of panic he’d been doing his best to ignore since that awful meltdown behind his front door. It's fucking awful and he's even more awful for messing everyone else up with all of his fucked-up-ness. Now he’s got both Abby and Seb worried and apparently Seb is upset enough to go spill his beans to Abigail and whatever he said had him shaken up enough to have her interrogating Sam. He presses his lips together, almost fighting back tears because he knows he’s gonna spill or Abbs is going to figure it out and he’ll have to face the fact that this is all bigger than some stupid unwarranted blow job fantasy and it’s been going on for a long, long time.

 

Abby's frustrated frown softens as she watches Sam try his damndest to hold himself together. Maybe she’d taken the wrong approach and pushed a little too hard. This wasn’t the first time this happened but Seb was usually the more sensitive one when it came to this stuff. Sammy was always the clumsy ray of sunshine who was frequently too loud and made everything a party. Seeing him so far in on himself was unnerving.

 

After a moment of heavy silence Abigail leans forward to softly tug at Sam’s fingers one by one. They loosen without much effort on her part and Sam seems to relax, if only a little bit, at the contact. She scoots closer onto his cushion and uncrosses his arms to take his hands into her own. Sammy’s always been a huge fan of being touchy feely and she hopes this is enough to make him feel at least a little bit better.

 

Sam stares down at their conjoined hands with a miserable expression on his face. He feels fucking stupid for getting so worked up over things again, especially in front of Abby who he knows won’t drop it until there's some kind of resolution. It's both endearing and completely annoying even though it's almost always helpful.

 

It takes Sam a bit to work through whatever's going on in his probably over caffeinated brain but for once Abby waits patiently until he does. She gives his hands a small squeeze as he takes a deep breath.

 

“Things got kinda… weird.”

 

Sam waits for Abby to comment with her usual brand of sass but instead she nods encouragingly.

 

He flubs for a moment “And well.. Like, it wasn’t.. Odd weird it was _weird_ weird. Not our normal weird but a whole different weird and I didn’t… uh. I don’t know what to do.”

 

Yoba, Sam knows he sounds like a dumbass.

 

“Well I mean.. We were cool and everything was cool and Seb was completely cool, y’know the usual. But then _I_ got weird. It was all me. This is my fault…”

 

Abby shifts quietly, watching Sam further sink into his guilt. He bumbles his way through a few more stilted sentences admitting his guilty feelings before she shakes their hands to pull him out of it.

 

“But what happened, Sammy?”

 

“I..” He stops, spine straight and rigid all over again.

 

Damnit.

 

“Uh..”

 

Abby’s brows scrunch together as his cheeks turn an uncomfortably deep shade of red. Sam sputters again so she taps her thumbs against his skin. He moves to pull his hands out of her grasp but she squeezes his instead

 

“Sammy-”

 

“I started noticing things!” he blurts out.

 

“What kind of things?”

 

“Seb things.”

 

“Like.. things he likes? Things he does?”

 

“I mean just- _him_ ! Sebastian! He-well I was looking and I couldn’t stop- and I kept seeing! Seeing like- _EVERYTHING._ Y’know, like the way he just does stuff and how much I don’t mind. O-or how comfortable he is in Zuzu compared to home. He was so comfy and- and he _laughed,_ Abby! He laughed at this thing this guy said and he wouldn’t do that to people here so he must really like it there, and this guy even touched him on the back and it was okay! He was okay with it!”

 

His eyes are wide and Abigail really doesn't get it. She doesn’t understand why any of this is new news or how Sam just noticed that Sebastian liked being in Zuzu, he’s always talked about it.

 

“Are you upset that Seb’s probably going to move there someday?”

 

God, the face Sam makes at that is heart wrenching. She regrets it immediately. It's as if the air had been punched right out of his lungs.

 

“ _Yes!_ ” he grates out leaning forward as if it physically pains him “Yoba, _yes_ , Abby! I’m fucking-” a breath “I can’t handle that! But.. But that's not why!”

 

“Then what is it, Sam?”

 

“It’s-” _fuck,_ he’s nauseous “-I can’t stop looking at him Abby! I just- He’s- he’s my best friend! It’s not right! He wouldn’t like all this, Sebby doesn’t like attention. He’s so great and he’s not always nice and he’s moody and he fucking _yells_ like an absolute _asshole_ when he completely loses his cool but I- I can’t stop thinking about him and I’m always, _always_ fucking ready to see him no matter what-”

 

At this point Sam is puking his words out faster than Abigail can keep up with. He’s red faced and rambling, shaking their hands as he spews everything out.

 

“-and he’s so fucking _smart,_ Abby! So fucking smart. And I _like_ sleeping with him and when we get close. That shits so _nice._ But I know he doesn’t think of all this, this way and I’m super fucking gross for taking advantage of him like this and I can’t do that, Abby. I can’t keep being awful, I feel so damn bad. I’m so guilty! I’ve been doing it for forever but I didn’t know- But I know now- but I don’t know what to do because I fucking _care!_ I just care _so fucking much_ and I _like_ him, Abby. I care about him more than _anything-”_

 

Abigail’s quiet gasp cuts him off.

 

A much louder gasp immediately follows.

 

“I-I didn’t mean that-”

 

“ _Yes_ you did!”

 

“No I didn’t!”

 

“Sammy!”

 

“ _OKAY,_ _I meant it!”_

 

Sam slaps both his hands over his mouth with a resounding pop.

 

“You like him!”

 

“I- well-”

 

Abby points a finger in his face “Yes you do, Sam! You like Sebastian!”

 

“Well of course I do, we-”

 

“Nuh uh, Sam! You like _like_ him. Like _really_ like like him!”

 

Sam’s stomach flips.

 

 _“Abby!”_ he whines hiding his face in his hands. Oh, God. He’s gonna freak out again.

 

“Hey, hey, Sam. It's okay.” she assures, gently grabbing his wrists. “It’s really okay, Sam.”

 

She gives a gentle tug but Sam resists. He’s fucking dying right now and all he wants to do is crawl in a hole. (and not die because that's a little too much.) He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have lied and told Abby that he drank bleach or some shit and couldn’t come. It was believable enough and technically not a lie since he dropped his ID card into some then later dropped it on his lunch. It probably wasn’t enough to do anything to him.. but she didn’t need to know that.

 

“Sammy, c’mon. It’s really not bad! You’re totally fine!”

 

He peeks through his fingers to mumble out a quick “What do you know?” before hiding behind them again.

 

The witch rolls her eyes so hard she swears something snaps “Ugh, Sam.” she gives another tug on his wrists “This is a good thing! Really!”  


Another peak “No it’s not!”  


“And why is that?”

 

“... Because.”

 

_Yoba._

 

“..Sammy.”

 

“Because he’s my best friend and _I’mgonnaruineverything.”_

 

Oh no.

 

The last part breaks pulls at her heart strings. So _that's_ what this was about.

 

“Oh, Sammy. You know Seb’s not like that.”

 

A small gap opens revealing a watery blue eye.

 

“But..”

 

“But what?”

 

Sam presses his hands further against his face and groans.

 

Abigail signs “Exactly. Seb doesn’t suck like that and no matter what he’s always gonna be your friend. Literally nothing could break you guys.”

 

Abby waits quietly until a muffled “You mean it?” comes from the blonde.

 

“Yes, Sammy. You’ve got nothing to be worried or ashamed over.” She laughs “I mean it's not like you're beating your shit to him right?”

 

The silence that follows is deafening.

 

Abigail almost snorts but instead she lets out a dramatic gasp “Samson, the Soldier's son!” she yells “You dirty, dirty man!”

 

Damn she was _never_ going to let him live this down.

 

Sam flushes down to his toes “I am not!” he cries

 

“...You're not what?”

 

Sam whips around wishing Yoba would stroke him down out of mercy. Sebastian looks back at him, head tilted in confusion.

 

The snort Abigail lets out behind her hand is entirely too fitting.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE
> 
> You've all been so fucking wonderful and nice I'M SOFT. This chapters making me CRINGE. 
> 
> Pls feel free to follow me on twitter. We can gush over these two sweet bb's and Abby I'm @ItFlare 
> 
> Thank you all so much and pls know that I GUSH every time anyone leaves a comment


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lets out an adoring sigh, chest tightening as he clutches at his shirt because damn..
> 
> He’s got it bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have mixed feelings about this one???  
> UNBETAD LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam has done a lot of stupid things in his short life.

 

And he’s paid for it, he really has.

 

Sometimes, _ dearly _ .

 

He’s fallen out of too many trees, been grounded so hard he thought he’d never again see the light of day and received more detention slips during his school years than probably anyone he’s ever known. He’d even been kicked in the nuts by Marnie’s really sweet donkey who loved Seb but hated Sam more than life itself. If anything looked sparkly and new in Pelican Town it was probably because Sam was being punished and had to repaint the damn thing or spend another would be beautiful Saturday afternoon scrubbing it clean. The hours of community service he’d racked up were unparalleled.

 

A lot of things just happened to seem like a good idea at the time. Typically, they weren’t.

 

Like telling Robin Seb had pooped his pants.

 

Or even better, telling Abigail that he’d told Robin that Seb had ripped the illest and left some behind.

 

In that moment it was foolproof. 

 

In the current moment.. 

 

_ deadly. _

 

All this runs through Sam’s head as Sebastian stands in the entryway looking between him and Abigail, a telling quirk in the witches lips that always pointed toward certain doom.

 

Sebastian eyes them wearily as he steps forward toward the couches. Abigail plops back into a sitting position, throwing her hair behind her shoulder after she gets off of her knees. She’s smiling, eyes going back and forth between her two best friends. She’s planning something, Sam knows she is, and if his hair wasn’t already artfully gelled into place it would be standing on end.

 

Seb crosses his arms and perches on the wood of the pool table. His lips are pressed together but still show his poorly hidden confusion. He knows somethings up and it’s probably making him a bit anxious to be so far out of the loop, especially after the past week.

 

“...What are you guys talking about?”

 

 Sam knows he should say something to placate whatever the fuck is about to go down but he also knows that he’s a blabber mouth with no filter once there's pressure applied. He doesn’t want to open his mouth and do what he does best, which he wishes was playing music but instead is fucking shit up, apparently.

 

Coincidentally, Sam doesn’t have to this time because Abigail does it for him.

 

“Hey, Poopy-Ass. Sam was just telling me how you shit your pants in front of your mom.”

 

In that moment Sam feels the remaining life drain out of his body.

 

Before Yoba has time to scoop out whatever consciousness is left in Sam’s soul, Sebastian is on him pushing him into the back of the couch and yelling. Sam squawks, quickly crossing his arms over his head to defend himself from the constant barrage of Sebs closed fists pounding against him.

 

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” he repeats with every hit.

 

“Ouch! Sebby stop! Sebby- fucking- ow- I didn’t mean it!”

 

“You stupid fucking- quit telling people I-”

 

“I didn’t Sebby! I didn’t!”

 

He stops mid hit.

 

“..Then what were you talking about?

 

“Uh..”

 

Sam parts his arms to look toward Abigail. She lifts her brows at him, eyes flicking over to Sebastian then back to him.

 

Oh. Right.

 

“Uhh… That?”

 

Sebastian growls, grabbing Sam’s body and shaking him.

 

“Stop fucking- stop telling people I shit myself!”

 

“Wait- Seb, you shit yourself?”

 

“Abby, I swear to-”

 

‘Seb! Please stop- I’m gonna be so sick.”

 

Sebastian's hands fly off him before pushing Sam back into the couch one last time. He pushes off of the blonde before dropping himself onto the cushion beside Abigail with a huff.

 

Abby laughs, pulling herself out from the crack between the cushions as Sam blinks rapidly in an attempt to make the room stop spinning. She turns to Seb and leans into him patting him on the knee in a placating gesture.

 

“Oh, come on, Seb. Don’t be mad. We all do it from time to time.”

 

The quiet “We do?” from the other side of the couch is ignored as Seb lets out a tortured sigh. The sound it makes is absolutely withering as is head hits the back of the couch with a thump.

 

“Oops, looks like I upset him. Let me make it up to you, Seb. I’ll get you guys some drinks.”

 

She gives Seb a quick squeeze before getting up then gives Sam a quick pat on the shoulder as she leaves.

 

Sam gapes at her, giving her a pleading look as she walks by unaffected. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

“Fucking, witch.” he mutters aloud. Sebastian huffs trying to disguise his laughter as an exhale. Sam finds himself smiling at the familiar sound.

 

He turns from the doorway and Sebastian quickly looks in the other direction. He glares disdainfully at the sofa arm touching theirs. 

 

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

 

The hell is he supposed to do  _ now _ ? 

 

Sam grimaces at the returning feeling of cement churning in his gut. It's not as bad as it was before but it's presence is enough to have him shifting in his seat. His eyes search the room for a distraction before inevitably landing on Sebastian. 

 

_ Yoba. _

 

Sam needs to get a grip.

 

Sebastian shifts uncomfortably against the couches arm. Sam watches as he tugs his sleeve down to cover his wrist. He’d pull them over his hands if he wasn’t worried about being too obvious. He’s nervous. Sam hates that he’s probably the reason why.

 

Everything feels weird again. It's fucking stupid. Sam  _ feels  _ fucking stupid and he would just drop this nonsense it would go away. He just has to  _ stop.  _ That's all.

 

But when he looks back up at Seb the warm feeling in Sam’s face tells him it's easier said than done. 

 

He wishes he could pinpoint when this all started, not just this weird shit but the  _ whole _ thing. They’ve always been close but when did Sam suddenly want to start being even closer? Was it even a sudden thing? Has he always felt like this? Did he just not notice?

 

His thoughts come to a screeching halt when Sebastian turns and catches him staring. Seb tilts his head in question, brows coming together in concern.

 

_ Shit. _

 

“...What?”

 

Sam physically flinches.

 

“Huh?”

 

“What are you looking at?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Sammy, you're staring.”

 

“No I’m not!”

 

Seb frowns.

 

“Yes you were. I just saw you.”

 

“No you didn’t.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes high enough to probably see whatever the fuck exists beyond heaven.

 

“So you're saying I just happened to see you looking directly at me for an extended period of time, but not staring?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I-” he crosses his arms and Sam sees the beginning of a smile “Ugh, Sam.”

 

Sam feels his own smile scrawling across his face.

 

 “Yeah, Seb?”

 

Sebastian’s lips quirk up even further.

 

“Just.. You.”

 

“What about me?”

 

Seb’s mouth opens to speak again but he stops himself. The inadvertent smile shifts into something closer to worry. He tries to distill it into something more neutral before glancing to the side then back to Sam’s face.

 

“What did you do this week?”

 

The comfort of their usual banter disappears in a puff of smoke. 

 

Guilt leeches itself onto Sam’s skin, sucking him dry of the syrupy heat previously filling his chest with warmth. 

 

_ Fuck _ , what is he supposed to say to that?

 

“Uhh..”

 

_ I spent the week obsessively playing my guitar or hiding away at work so I could distract myself from feeling like shit because I keep fixating over you and all of these weird bullshit things I keep feeling and can’t fucking handle. _

 

“I pulled a few double shifts and lived on my guitar.”

 

_ Smooth. _

 

Sebastian doesn’t react instantly. Instead he seems to weigh Sam’s words in his head, searching the blondes face before silently coming to a conclusion. Whatever that conclusion is, he doesn’t share. It’s very Sebby of him and part of Sam is grateful for the continued silence but the other parts of him are fucking  _ worried.  _ They’re all really good at coming up with stuff in their heads  but the problem with Seb is that most of the stuff he comes up with is either new Solarian Chronicle campaigns or sad stuff. 

 

And Sebby is  _ really _ good at the sad stuff.

 

Sams not sure who put it there (though he has a  _ real  _ powerful hunch) but the voice in Seb’s head isn’t a nice one. Judging by the downward turn of Sebby’s lips Sam should probably stop it.

 

“Was your week okay?” he asks, cringing when Sebastian responds by making a face at the question.

 

“Oh…” Sam tries wiping the clamminess of his palms onto his skinny jeans and blanches at the possibility that he’d been the one to ruin Seb’s entire week.  _ Shit. _

 

“Was it..” he pauses as grey eyes flit upwards to rest on his own “.. Was it because of me?”

 

Sebastian looks down and the air around them seems to still. Sam holds his breath as the chatter in the background appears to quiet down as if the entirety of the town were stopping to listen in. He’s being stupid,  _ he knows he fucking is.  _ It’s just that Sam feels like he’s sitting under a spotlight and first time in his life he doesn't like it. 

 

It’s just him and Seb. They’ve talked about personal stuff before and things were always okay. It was never weird then. Why should this be any different?

 

_ Because he means alot to me and I’m fucking ruining it! _

 

Sebastian’s eyes widen, shoulders visibly stiffening as he wrings his hands in front of him. Sam swears he can almost see the smoke rising out of Sebastian's head as he desperately searches his brain for the right thing to say.

 

“Sam I..”

 

“Hey guys! I got your drinks!” Abby announces as she quickly strides in with large glasses in both hands and Emily close behind. 

 

Sebastian immediately deflates against the back of the couch, gripping the shit out of his drink after Abby hands it to him and plops down onto the couch by his side. Abigail gives Sam a frantic look, he’s not sure how to respond to before combing Seb’s fringe off to the side poking at his shoulder.

 

The sudden interruption is almost entirely welcome _ , _ but  _ fuck _ he had almost gotten an answer out of Sebby.

 

Sam stares wide eyed at the white knuckled hold Sebby has on his smaller drink until Emily interrupts him with an even larger glass that smells strong enough to knock a horse out.

 

“This ones for you, Sammy!” she states cheerily, handing him the drink. 

 

Sam oogles at the size of the glass “Isn’t this kinda..  _ huge _ and..” he takes a quick whiff and flinches away from it “..Strong?”

 

Emily smiles knowingly before looking over towards Abby and Seb as Seb pulls away from the witch tugging on the ends of his tallest section of hair. 

 

“Abby said you had a rough week.” Her smile grows at the loud “ _ Abby!” _ Sebastian lets out beside them. “This ones on the house.” 

 

Sam feels his cheeks up and she leaves him with a quick wink before walking away. She's fucking  _ perfect.  _ He downs a third of the beverage before he can do or say anything stupid and winces at the sharp burn that comes before the fruity aftertaste. He’s not sure what's all in it but if he had two he might die.

 

Yoba, bless that woman.

 

“Abby, stop!”

 

“Seb, c’mon! Let me play with it!”

 

“Stop touching my hair!”

 

The commotion rocking the couch almost causes Sam to spill the rest of his fruity concoction. He takes another swig before catching Seb’s drink that turns a little bit too far on it's side in Sebastian’s hand. The small bit of contact goes unnoticed by Sebastian as he tries to push Abigails hand away with his free hand. Abby ruffles his fringe, puffing it up until it’s sticking up in random directions. Seb squawks before desperately trying to smooth it down into some semblance of order.

 

The night goes on as it usually does, except with Abigail controlling most of the conversation. She seems to keep an eye on both boys, inserting herself whenever things get any kind of weird or quiet, constantly poking at Seb to make sure his mind doesn’t start to drift which Sam is both incredibly grateful for and exhausted by. 

 

He drinks the entirety of his drink then goes back to Emily for something much smaller and more tame. The Saloon’s resident goddess seems to know exactly what he needs, as most women in his life do, and slides him a cup of something he hadn’t asked for with a quick “You’ll like this better.” before turning away to help the next customer.

 

If Sam didn’t have such a boner for Sebastian right now he’d probably have big hots for her. As he nears the end of whatever strawberry flavored shit was in his second glass he thinks that maybe he does. Who knows anymore?

 

Not him, apparently.

 

The three of them head out an hour earlier than usual. Everyones exhausted for one reason or another and Abby claims that she needs to consult with the spirits before the full moon reaches its peak. She hugs both boys, making sure to squeeze Seb obnoxiously hard then moving onto Sam who wobbles on his feet.

 

He’s not  _ too _ far gone but he’s gone enough for Abby to have to physically move his face down to look at her instead of ogling at Seb.

 

“Don’t be stupid, okay?” she orders quietly as she raises her brows at him and subtly jerks her head in Sebastian’s direction. 

 

“You know it!” he smiles down at her and she pats him on the cheek.

 

“That's the problem, Sam, I do know it.” 

 

She’s halfway to the graveyard before Sam’s fuzzy brain puts two and two together.

 

“Hey!” he shouts and turns to protest further and his view is blocked by Sebastian waiting patiently beside him. There's an unlit cigarette being crushed between his fingers as he rolls it anxiously between them. 

 

“..Seb?”

 

Sebstian responds by shoving the ruined cigarette into the pocket of his hoodie. He looks off to the side and chews on the side of his bottom lip. When he finally looks back up Sam feels himself sobering quickly.

 

“I.. Are we okay, Sam?”

 

_ Oh _

 

He reaches for Sebastian, pausing his hand as Seb almost backs away.

 

“Yeah, Sebby… I..  _ I  _ think we are.”

 

Sebastian looks down toward his feet. The relieved sigh he lets out is probably much louder than he wants it to be. The small smile on his face turns Sam’s insides to mush.

 

“Okay.” he brings a careful hand to his chest and gingerly touches the fabric “.. Did I.. Did I make you uncomfortable the other night?”

 

Sam's eyes trail down to where the shining bars were hiding beneath Sebastian’s clothing. He feels his cheeks heat up and hopes Sebby thinks it's due to the alcohol. 

 

“No, Seb.. You never do.”

 

Seb’s careful smile grows.

 

“Good.” he lets out a grateful hum before his shoulders tense up again “You're sure though.. Right?”

 

Sam steps forward, finally placing a careful hand on Sebastian’s arm. He thinks Sebby leans into the touch but he also thinks his brain might just want him to believe that. 

 

“I mean I slept with you didn’t I?”

 

The words slip out before Sam has time to think them through and he feels Seb tense immediately. The look receives is incredulous.

 

“ _ Sammy!” _

 

“Uh..”

 

Seb swats him on the chest and laughs loud enough to make Sam’s heart burst.

 

“You idiot!” he teases before backing away.

 

The fabric of Sebastian's sleeve slides beneath Sam’s hand until his hand catches Seb’s wrist. Sebastian pauses, arm outstretched and looks down at his best friends large hand swallowing his wrist. He turns his hand, tugging it until Sam’s hand is in his own. 

 

Seb stares down at it before squeezing lightly 

 

“I’ll see you soon okay?”

 

It takes everything in Sam to catch his breath “Definitely.”

 

Sebastian smiles down at their hands, squeezing one last time before pulling his hand out of sam’s grip.

 

“Drink some water, okay?” 

 

“Yeah”

 

“Night, Sam.” he calls over his shoulder before disappearing from view.

 

Sam stands there with a hand over his pounding heart until the smell of cigarette smoke fades.

 

He lets out an adoring sigh, chest tightening as he clutches at his shirt because  _ damn.. _

 

He’s got it bad.

  
And he’d do  _ anything  _ to see Seb smile like that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE ITS BEEN SO LONG!!!!  
> I'll try to update sooner, you're all amazing and you've been so kind about this fic!!! I've somehow made real friends because of these dorky bois and I'M SOFT!!!! I love all of you're comments!! They're what keep me going!!
> 
> I write another Sambastian fic called Roundabout!!! it's Sebby's point of view and it was a whole lot of fun to write.
> 
> Pls feel free to hit me up on twitter. My handle is @ItFlare
> 
> Thank you all so much and I hope to see you again real soon <3


End file.
